[Chorus: Offbeat]
Welcome to the gym, come take a wander with me
There’s a few of the members that I want you to meet
And if you’re wondering where it is you’ve seen em before
It’s in every other gym that you’ve probably been
I said, welcome to the gym, come take a wander with me
There’s a few of the members that I want you to meet
And if you’re wondering where it is you’ve seen em before
It’s in every other gym that you’ve probably been
[Verse 1: Offbeat]
Ay yo, every gym I’ve been to contains the same characters
I swear, it’s like somewhere there’s a manufacturer
With the same personality types they’re pumping out
Let’s start off with the loud guy who likes to grunt and shout
You’ll never need ask anyone ,“where’d he go”
If you can’t see him - don’t worry 'cause he’ll let you know
And usually if there’s a weight that you need
You can find it in the huge pile lying by his feet
And over here we have the Gym Bro who conforms
To a strict code and wears the same uniform
Backwards cap? Check Chewing gum? Check
Ladies crop top? “Nah man it’s a vest!” (Sure)
This guy spends so much time on his phone
I genuinely want to know do you even lift bro?
And if checking your reflection counted as reps
Then by now he’d be bigger than the Mountain I bet (Yep)
[Chorus: Offbeat]
Welcome to the gym, come take a wander with me
There’s a few of the members that I want you to meet
And if you’re wondering where it is you’ve seen em before
It’s in every other gym that you’ve probably been
I said, welcome to the gym, come take a wander with me
There’s a few of the members that I want you to meet
And if you’re wondering where it is you’ve seen em before
It’s in every other gym that you’ve probably been
[Verse 2: Offbeat]
But yo, do you know who my favorite gym guy type is?
The dude who’s going through the mid life crisis
And clearly hasn’t been to the gym for a few years
So rocks up dressed from head to toe in all new gear
He’s got the headband the vest and the sweat pants
Even his water bottle’s emblazoned with the best brand
He’s dressed like an athlete who's running a race
But then he does a couple stretches and is done for the day
But it’s not just the guys who act stereotypical
There’s plenty women who are just as predictable
Who turn up with their hair and their make up fresh
But don’t work too hard 'cause they don’t want to break a sweat
But I’m a hypocrite 'cause I think this chick is fit
And when she walks past I suck my gut in a bit
And even when I’m knackered if she’s stood next to me
I can always bust out a couple extra reps it seems
[Chorus: Offbeat]
Welcome to the gym come take a wander with me
There’s a few of the members that I want you to meet
And if you’re wondering where it is you’ve seen em before
It’s in every other gym that you’ve probably been
I said, welcome to the gym, come take a wander with me
There’s a few of the members that I want you to meet
And if you’re wondering where it is you’ve seen em before
It’s in every other gym that you’ve probably been
[Verse 3: Offbeat & Odd Chap]
But Offbeat
Yeah?
What about the guy who just stands there people watching
Uh, what?
You know, the guy who's just there taking notes who'd make fun of people later in a song
Oh, err, that?
Err, ha, that, that’s different
But let’s not forget the sleazy dude, who’s always creeping through
On the lookout for girls to be speaking to
Dropping weak compliments like “Nice hair”
Seemingly unaware their boyfriend’s stood right there
Maybe they know and just don’t care
Either way, it’s fair to say he didn’t come to train he just came to stare
All day long at these women’s butts
In fact weights are the only thing he doesn’t plan on picking up
Then there’s the perfect stranger
Who’s read one copy of Men’s Health and now thinks he’s a Personal Trainer
Quick to comment on your form and all the parts that’s wrong
Giving you advice regardless if you asked or not
But then he doesn’t see his own faults
Which is why you should take what he says with a big grain of salt
You can find him by the squat rack
Telling guys “Not bad, but next time try lifting with your back”
[Chorus: Offbeat]
Welcome to the gym come take a wander with me
There’s a few of the members that I want you to meet
And you’re wondering where it is you’ve seen em before
It’s in every other gym that you’ve probably been
Welcome to the gym thanks for booking the tour
Now you know who you need to be looking out for
So next time you go there see if you can spot some
It won’t be hard, 'cause every gym’s got one
