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Champaign, Illinois Lyrics by Old 97's

The Grand Theatre, Volume One

2010

The bottom line's been snorted
The bottom card's been dealt
No one knows like you know right now
How truly bad it felt
All your life you wasted
On dreamin' about the day
Worker bees kill off their queen
And carry all her eggs away
Oh, then if you die fearin' God
And painfully employed
No, you will not go to Heaven
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois
Up north in Chicago
Where booze makes no one blush
Memories come back to you
In a double Bourbon rush
Memories that aren't all bad
And neither, my friend, are you
There is an argument there must be some Heaven meant
For hearts that are half true
Oh, and if you spend your whole life
Rollin' horses into Troy
No, you will not go to heaven
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois
No, you will not go to heaven
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois
Roll on blacktop highway
Circles towards the sun
Springfield's in the distance
And that's the last big one
After that comes judgment
Oh, and judgment will be swift
You will be eliminated
But here's a parting gift
Oh, if you die fearin' God
And painfully employed
No, you will not go to Heaven
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois
No, you will not go to heaven
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois
No, you will not go to heaven
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois
Credits
Old 97's

Old 97's

About “Champaign, Illinois” by Old 97's

Read the complete lyrics to "Champaign, Illinois" by Old 97's from the album "The Grand Theatre, Volume One" in 2010. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Rock, Alternative Country, Country.

"Champaign, Illinois" is performed by Old 97's. from the album "The Grand Theatre, Volume One" in 2010 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Champaign, Illinois", explore more songs by Old 97's using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Champaign, Illinois" is credited to Old 97's. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Champaign, Illinois" appears on "The Grand Theatre, Volume One" in 2010.

Visit the Old 97's artist page at /artist/old-97s for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.