[Verse 1] Woke up, it's a blue balls day Think I'm gonna need somethin' for the pain Staring at the poster on my wall That's my cousin I'mma give her a call Check my tender and OkCupid Kept swipin' right then I felt really stupid I found my mom up on this app Swipe left, swipe right Or should I fap? I'm just out here, thinking I'm screwed Girls don't like me 'less I give 'em the booze I try so hard, "really what's the use?" Farmersonly.com will have to do [Pre-Chorus 1] Why, oh, why won't you just date me? When I all I want is respect But she won't give up the sex Why, oh, why do girls hate me? I just wanna pop my cherry But not with Beth she's hairy [Chorus 1] I am so frickin' hard No one to screw today I guess I'll lay around and masturbate (masturbate) I am so frickin' hard No one to screw today I guess I'll lay around and masturbate (masturbate) [Verse 2] Can't wait to do it, and tell my friends Why is intercourse so hard to comprehend? All this stress gonna make me a stoner Watch Judge Judy then I got me a boner Man I really wanna plant my seed Knot on my stomach I can feel it when I breathe I'm starting to think my life's a joke If you smelled my hand you'd probably choke [Pre-Chorus 2] Why, oh, why won't you just sext me? When all I want is your boobs Turned off my cloud now send nudes Why, oh, why when I say pretty please? You don't respond and then you block me And then you call the cops on me [Chorus 1] I am so frickin' hard No one to screw today I guess I'll lay around and masturbate (masturbate) I am so frickin' hard No one to screw today I guess I'll lay around and masturbate (masturbate) [Bridge] Message from Beth on my cell phone She said "Come over, but bring a comb" Yes I'm desperate, I need that beaver Brought seven combs, i'm an overachiever Arrived at her house, and I popped them pills Saw her cooche and got the chills Taken of my clothes, while I twirl Fell and her phone went live to the world [Post-Bridge] Your friends are hard right now Your parents are hard right now That hot chick's hard right now That cop is hard right now The cameraman's hard right now Your priest is hard right now Everyone's hard as fuck right now I think that means I'm going down! [Chorus 2] I am so frickin' hard She let me screw today I better turn this off and penetrate (penetrate) I am so frickin' hard She let me screw today I better turn this off and penetrate (penetrate) [Outro] -Whisper I'm gonna penetrate you
Read the complete lyrics to "Masturbate" by Outlaw from the album "Don’t Laugh" in 2019. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Parody, Country.
"Masturbate" is performed by Outlaw. from the album "Don’t Laugh" in 2019 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL.
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"Masturbate" is credited to Outlaw. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.
"Masturbate" appears on "Don’t Laugh" in 2019.
Visit the Outlaw artist page at /artist/outlaw for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.
