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The Dark Town Poker Club Lyrics by Phil Harris

The Thing About Phil Harris

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Bill Jackson was a poor old dub
Who joined the Darktown Poker Club
But cursed the day he told them he would join
His money used to go like it had wings
If he yelled queens, someone had kings
And each night he would contribute all his coin
Then he said I'm gonna play 'em tight tonight
He said there'll be no bobtail flushes make me bite
'Cause when I gets in them my hands will be a peach
And he played them tight but lost his pile
And Bill got peevish after a while
So he rose, looked all around, and made this speech
He said you all see this brand new razor
I had it sharpened just today
Now I'm coming in there with my rules
That you must follow when you play
Now keep your big bony hands on the table
While you dealing, please
And don't be slippin' them aces down there
Er, in between your knees
And don't be makin' all them funny signs
Like you tryin' to tip off your hand
Just talk in American, boy, American
So's I can understand
And don't be dealin' off the bottom
Because ooh that's rough
Take five, five, then stop, that's enough
Now when you bet put up the chips
Because I don't like it when you shy
Then if you get busted go on out and get some
I'm gonna be here by and by
Pass them cards for me to shuffle
Everytime before you deals
Then if anything's wrong, I must see
'Cause I mean, you always ain't no, er
Keep playin' that game according to Mr. Hoyle
You all play this game accordin' to me
Now sittin' right there in that there clan
There chance to be a one-eyed man
And Bill kept watchin' him out the corner of his eye
When ole one-eye would deal and then
Would cost that Bill another five or ten
Bill got up again, looked all around him with a sigh
He said, Lord, this is an awful shame
He said, There someone cheatin' in this 'ere game
He said, it goes, er
It ain't no do for me to name the guy
So I'll refrain from mentioning the party's name
If I catch him cheatin' just once again
I'm gonna take my fist and close that other eye
Now you see this brand new razor
I had it sharpened just today
I'm comin' in there with my own rules
That you must follow when you play
Hey kid, keep your hands up there
While you're givin' them out, please
Stop puttin' them wildies
Down there 'tween your knees
Stop makin' all them funny signs
Like you're tryin' to tip off your hand
Keep talkin' in American, big AAA
That's what I can understand
And don't be getting' them off the bottom
Because I keep tryin' to tell you it's rough
This an army game, five, five, halt, that's enough
Now when you bet let me see the reds and blues
'Cause I don't like it when you shy
Then if you run out of gas, go get pumped up
I'm gonna be here by and by
Pass them pasteboards for me to shuffle
Everytime before you deal, let me ripple
Anything wrong, I wanna see
I mean, you always ain't gonna keep playin' the game now
According to that Mr. Hoyle
You all gonna play this game according to me
Henry, if you break the seal on that new deck of bicycles
We'll go on from there, yeah
Yeah yeah yeah

About “The Dark Town Poker Club” by Phil Harris

Read the complete lyrics to "The Dark Town Poker Club" by Phil Harris from the album "The Thing About Phil Harris". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Big Band, Pop.

"The Dark Town Poker Club" is performed by Phil Harris. from the album "The Thing About Phil Harris" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "The Dark Town Poker Club", explore more songs by Phil Harris using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"The Dark Town Poker Club" is credited to Phil Harris. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"The Dark Town Poker Club" appears on "The Thing About Phil Harris".

Visit the Phil Harris artist page at /artist/phil-harris for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.