Some romantic comedy.
Woke up at the crack o' dawn,
Gave out a little yawn,
Looked at my iPhone,
I really need to turn down the brightness though,
I was in a shocked mood,
Thirteen different texts from thirteen different girls,
Haha I must be dreaming,
Gave myself a little pinch, OW! I wasn't sleeping,
They said:
"Wow you're really funny,"
"Awww so sweet of you,"
"I like how you can actually understand me,"
I must be a reincarnated Patrick Swayze,
I'm having so much women coming at me,
I need to look at myself in the mirror, I must be Justin Bieber!,
But I ain't gay either,
If this was the eighties hip-hop scene,
I'd probably be Big Daddy Kane,
I could also be Taylor Lautner,
Looked in the mirror, nope I'm still the chele Salvi.
I don't know what it is but I feel as strong as Bruce Lee today,
Something told me I earned the title Big Poppa,
Just like the Notorious B.I.G., actually no scratch that,
I sound like a fag, a kid with no future in his frontin'
If you know what I'm referencing,
Went to school, I see Mary Lou get excited when she sees my Suzu',
We talked:
"How do you do?" I asked,
"I'm doing fine how 'bout you?"
Then she slides her hand under my shirt,
WHOA! Now it doesn't hurt but take it easy, she then said:
"We can ditch school and get down and dirty somewhere lonely in the back seat honey,"
I responded:
"Oh that's funny, but I got to study,"
And I didn't look back,
All of a sudden I felt sweat pouring down my actual back,
Shoot what just happened? But hey she's cute,
Maybe she's hiding some special loot,
Or a deadly one if I'm not careful son.
Opened up my locker,
All of a sudden I felt a startle from behind,
I turn around it was just Cheryl,
Laughing at me like I was Will Ferrell,
We started up the convo:
"Hey you wanna get some Burger King later," she asked,
"I thought you were hanging with your boyfriend Gerald,"
"Oh I bid him farewell," she crosses her arms and looks down,
"I just need someone to talk to is all, and to be honest you pick me back up when I fall," she got on her tiptoes and gave me a kiss on the cheek, she says "You're super sweet," and she walks away fast and giggling.
Haha stop this isn't me,
I ain't fit for any of these ladies,
It's just a dream but it's as funny as watching Jim Carrey,
*RING* Oh great I'm late,
I need to get my mind straight and head to algebra class,
About as fast as The Flash,
Quit rhyming and stop making a big backlash Brayan,
Walk into algebra and Mrs. H is pissed,
I'm six minutes late!?,
How long was I rhyming for God's sake,
I see the cute twins Lisa & Tina,
Last time I tried hitting on them they said:
"Um no, see ya,"
But something was different they actually smiled and winked,
They passed me a note, their actual numbers and the area code.
No! No! No! This can't be for real,
I must've been on recreational pills,
I felt a strange chill,
I need to sit still,
On second thought may I use the restroom?,
Filled out the pass and rushed in there,
Wash my face with cold water give me some lemon lime 7Up.
Please God let this be a fantasy,
It is scaring the hell out of me,
Yet at the same time I'm enjoying the dream,
Then came Danielle, girl looking fine as hell,
I'd like her to wear a cop outfit and be my warden of the "jail cell",
Saw her wearing sexy yoga pants,
Perfectly outlining those thighs it made my hormones blast,
What? I like big butts and I cannot lie, that's what I was taught,
By the great Sir Mix-a-Lot,
Is she part of the team out to get me?,
Then she grips on to my belt buckle,
Pulls me towards her chest,
Grabs both of my hands, she makes them go around,
Then lets me squeeze the best trunk in town,
I make eye contact with her sexiness, she said:
"You can get more action in the janitor's closet,"
Why should I stick around for the rest of the seven?,
With Danielle this is like the closest I could get to Heaven,
Janitor's closet it is then, lead the way baby,
Oh, then I got a magical pack of Magnum rubbers,
Somebody must got me covered,
Now it's time to hit the bumper.
Now in the closet, kicked away the bucket,
Been around the world and I, I, I, I finally found my lady,
The one that'll lay me baby, now it's time to get ready,
She pulls down the pants then the panties,
It's "Fifty Shades" alrighty,
Someone slide in the Phil Collins sound,
Now she's full on topless,
I guess it's time for me to slide in the big...
Wait what?!, I hear my mama calling and hollering:
"You're late for school you fool!",
I check my phone and I receive no texts from any of the girls,
I guess I ain't that sharp,
Big sigh, I'll go back to playing my Pokemon cards,
Watch Yu-Gi-Oh! and Dragon Ball Z on TV,
Well got to get ready, and those girls will never notice me,
It's Just a Fantasy.
