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In The Van Somewhere Outside of Birmingham Lyrics by Proper. (USA)

The Great American Novel

2022

We give daps and pounds
And yeah, I'll buy the next round
But don't you dare try to hug me
Why would another man want to touch me?
There's something not right here
Why would he compliment my hair
Is he sick? Is this a dare?
What other explanation is there?
We're men, that’s how we’re raised
Don't smile, don't give too much praise
Don't cry, don't beg, don't ask, just take
Don't get tired, never take a break
But above all else, show no affection
I mean, it just goes without question
Never let down your guard
Just be a man, it's not hard
Hello, dear reader
Allow me to set the scene:
In the back of the van somewhere outside of Birmingham
It’s another 90 degree day scorcher and the AC died days ago
Our fearless protagonist sits between alfred., doodling yesterday's highlights on their tablet
And Logan, who at present is succumbing to the warm air lulling him to sleep
With every passing second, his head droops lower and lower
Until finally it finds itself resting comfortably on our hero's shoulder
The following is an inner dialogue
Well, now what do I do now?
We better turn the van around
Take me home, this is not allowed
Oh fuck! Okay, play it cool, play it cool
And remember everything you learned back in high school
If a guy is too nice it means he must want to fuck you
Raised Southern Baptist so no man above you
Oh wait, that's fucking ridiculous man
A decade later and you’re still letting these kids tell you how to be a man?
So get it the fuck together, come up with a game plan
We’re still two hours outside of Birmingham
Just put your arm around him, just be fucking normal
You spent the last two weeks together, why now to be formal?
But what if someone sees? Oh, then it’ll all be over
You’ll avoid eye contact for the rest of the tour
You'll never live this down, you’ll never live it down
If you don’t just put your arm around him, you’ll regret it now
And forever, why are you like this? You’re not a leader, you’re a letdown
A real man wouldn’t panic, you’ll never wear the fucking crown
Why can’t you do it you coward?
All your life you’ve wanted close male friends, why now to be a wallflower
Where’s that conviction you like to sing about? Where’s that willpower?
Are you just gonna sit here frozen for the next two hours?
Just put your arm around him, just do it, please just fucking do it
You'll never live this down, it's now or never
You gotta unfreeze, just get unstuck
But then he woke up
Credits
Proper. (USA)

Proper. (USA)

About “In The Van Somewhere Outside of Birmingham” by Proper. (USA)

Read the complete lyrics to "In The Van Somewhere Outside of Birmingham" by Proper. (USA) from the album "The Great American Novel" in 2022. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Rock.

"In The Van Somewhere Outside of Birmingham" is performed by Proper. (USA). from the album "The Great American Novel" in 2022 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "In The Van Somewhere Outside of Birmingham", explore more songs by Proper. (USA) using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"In The Van Somewhere Outside of Birmingham" is credited to Proper. (USA). Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"In The Van Somewhere Outside of Birmingham" appears on "The Great American Novel" in 2022.

Visit the Proper. (USA) artist page at /artist/proper-usa for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.