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Cover Art

You Can Touch My Boobies Lyrics by Rachel Bloom

Please Love Me

2012

[Intro: Teacher Rachel, spoken]
Hey, Jeffrey Goldstein. Looks like you fell asleep in Hebrew school again. Well, that's okay. 'Cause now, you're about to have a dream. And not just any dream. A sexy dream!
[Bridge: Teacher Rachel & girls]
Sex, sex, sexy sex
[Verse 1: Teacher Rachel]
Come with me, Jeffrey Goldstein
To a fantasy
Rip off your Stewie Griffin shirt
And give yourself to me
No need to check the lock
'Cause your parents are at Benihana
Throw away the sock
Now come in close. I know you wanna...
[Chorus: Teacher Rachel]
We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right
'Cause you can touch my boobies
We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right
'Cause you can touch my boobies
[Bridge: Teacher Rachel & girls]
Sex, sex, sexy sex
Boner, boner, uterus
[Verse 2: Teacher Rachel]
Saturday night and the music's pumpin'
Out at the family funplex
We'll lick tongues in a go-kart
And you'll tell me fun facts about minerals
Now I'm dressed like that lady
From that cookie wrapper in the trash
I'll show you my vagina
Which is located on my stomach somewhere
[Chorus: Teacher Rachel & girls]
We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right
'Cause you can touch my boobies
We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies
Wow, amethyst is a type of quartz?
For that, you can touch my boobies!
[Bridge: Teacher Rachel & girls]
Sex, sex, sexy sex
Boner, boner, uterus
Fallopian, fallopian, the pillow in the living room
[Interlude: Golda Meir, spoken]
Jeffrey, this is Golda Meir, the fourth prime minister of Israel. You're disgusting! You are perverted! You have brought shame on your family and the Jewish people! You are going to be a rapist!
[Chorus: Teacher Rachel, Girls]
Boobs!
We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies. (Labia!)
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right
'Cause you can touch my boobies. (Outer labia!)
[Chorus: Teacher Rachel, Golda Meir]
We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies
(You're sick!)
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right
'Cause you can touch my boobies
(Put your schmekel away!)
[Outro: Teacher Rachel, Golda Meir]
Sex, sex, sexy sex
You can touch my boobies
Boner, boner, uterus
You can touch my boobies
Fallopian, fallopian, you can touch my boobies
(I see you staring at your dog's pussy!)
You can touch my boobies
Credits
Rachel Bloom

Rachel Bloom

About “You Can Touch My Boobies” by Rachel Bloom

Read the complete lyrics to "You Can Touch My Boobies" by Rachel Bloom from the album "Please Love Me" in 2012. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"You Can Touch My Boobies" is performed by Rachel Bloom. from the album "Please Love Me" in 2012 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "You Can Touch My Boobies", explore more songs by Rachel Bloom using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"You Can Touch My Boobies" is credited to Rachel Bloom. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"You Can Touch My Boobies" appears on "Please Love Me" in 2012.

Visit the Rachel Bloom artist page at /artist/rachel-bloom for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.