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A Dozen Roses (Live) Lyrics by Rodney Carrington

Morning Wood

0

I got a twelve-inch dick and a dozen roses
And a pickup truck
Hubba-hubba-hubba-hey
That's all I wrote of that one
That's all I figured I needed
Alright listen. Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna sing this song together
I know you girls are going "I'm not singing: I got a twelve-inch dick, a dozen roses, a pickup truck, Hubba-hubba-hubba-hubba!" Yes you are
We're gonna pretend your boyfriend or your husband's got all three of those. You consider it yours, okay?
Everybody in the whole building, loud and proud. Here we go:
I got a twelve-inch dick and a dozen roses
And a pickup truck
Hubba-hubba-hubba-hey
I got it, that's important, you gotta get that:
Hubba-hubba-hubba-hey, let me hear it
Hubba-hubba-hubba-hey, horseshit
Hubba-hubba-hubba-hey, horseshit, do it again
Hubba-hubba-hubba-hey
There you go, fuck, goddamn, like people act like I'm asking you to do fucking push-ups for God's...
Is there a gas leak in this fucking place? What's wrong with you people?
Alright, boys, close your eyes, don't say a word, daddy's gonna buy you a little mockingbird, okay?
Girls, you're gonna do this all by your little lonesome. You are
And you're gonna sing it pretty. Pretty, like Rodney likes it. Like this:
"I got a twelve-inch dick and a dozen roses…"
Pretty, not like: "I GOT A TWELVE-INCH DICK…"
I don't want you singing like some drunk hillbilly in the shower washing her pooty-poo somewhere
I want you singing like a church choir that's been together for a long damn time
Boys, listen to this, you'll love it. Girls, if you ain't got no nuts underneath that skirt. Get your ass to sing it:
"I got a twelve-inch dick and a dozen roses
And a pickup truck
Hubba-hubba-hubba-hey"
That's half ass!
Girls sound like you're some camp somewhere or something. How'd you like to walk up on that campsite boys
"Hi girls! Got some roses in the truck. I don't have that other thing you're looking for, but I know a fella."
Alright boys, your turn:
"I got a twelve-inch dick and a dozen roses
And a pickup truck
Hubba-hubba-hubba-hey"
Fuck, you sound like you've been on a naval ship for twelve months
"I see the pussy captain!"
You know what, you're gonna sing that song on the way home
It's easy to remember when you're drunk
I'll tell you something else, the girls will start singing it first. They'll throw one other word in there that we didn't intend on:
"I wish I had a twelve-inch dick and a dozen roses
And a pickup truck
Hubba-hubba-hubba-hey"
I sang that song to my mama. She said, "I can do without the roses and the truck."
Goddamn, she's funny!
Credits
Rodney Carrington

Rodney Carrington

About “A Dozen Roses (Live)” by Rodney Carrington

Read the complete lyrics to "A Dozen Roses (Live)" by Rodney Carrington from the album "Morning Wood". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Country, Comedy.

"A Dozen Roses (Live)" is performed by Rodney Carrington. from the album "Morning Wood" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "A Dozen Roses (Live)", explore more songs by Rodney Carrington using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"A Dozen Roses (Live)" is credited to Rodney Carrington. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"A Dozen Roses (Live)" appears on "Morning Wood".

Visit the Rodney Carrington artist page at /artist/rodney-carrington for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.