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Sponsor Me Lyrics by Sam Riegel

2021

[WIFE, spoken]
Honey, it's 3:00 in the morning. Do you still have writer's block?
[HUSBAND, spoken]
Yes, damn it
Unless I finish this commercial, I'm never going to make it, and you'll never respect me
[WIFE, spoken]
Oh, can't you just get a job at the factory like the other husbands? What more do you need?
[HUSBAND, spoken]
You know what I need. I need the greatest gift of all. I need someone... like them
(sung)
When I'm feeling down in the dumps
Life is dishing out its lumps
Our stomachs only full of butterflies
No food, no hope, no motivation
[WIFE]
A big heart!
[HUSBAND]
But no creation
My mind is crying, dying to advertise
Won't someone sponsor me?
Take out that checkbook and just sponsor me
I swear that there's a ton of products I can sell
So come on, what the hell!
Just take my hand and hear my honest plea
And please sponsor me
[WIFE, spoken]
*gasps* What's this? A telegram?
[HUSBAND, spoken]
It's from Hit Point Press
They want to buy commercial time on the first episode of Campaign 3
[WIFE, spoken]
Honey, you mean-
[HUSBAND, spoken]
That's right, we made it, baby
We're going to be okay
(sung)
Grab ahold and don't let go
Because there's a sign, and it's shown
That, baby, we don't need to get divorced
[WIFE]
(spoken) No, we don't!
(sung) The ad execs open their doors
A love way more important than yours
You're multi-national company-endorsed!
[HUSBAND, WIFE]
They chose to sponsor me (Sponsor him)
Spent their commercial budget properly (This great song)
I've finally broken through and earned some validation (Earned some validation)
From this fine corporation (This fine corporation)
And they called me up and chose to honor me!
[WIFE]
Change the key!
[The key changes up.]
[HUSBAND]
Honor me!
[WIFE]
Change the key!
[HUSBAND, WIFE, HUSBAND & WIFE]
Now someone sponsors me
They took that checkbook and they (Whoa)
Sponsored me
You'll see that there's a ton of sponsors I can land (Sponsors you can land)
So, come on, take my hand (You know I'll take your hand)
Because shilling paves the road to prosperity
Now sponsor me
Credits
Sam Riegel

Sam Riegel

About “Sponsor Me” by Sam Riegel

Read the complete lyrics to "Sponsor Me" by Sam Riegel in 2021. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Theatre, Musicals, Pop.

"Sponsor Me" is performed by Sam Riegel. in 2021 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Sponsor Me", explore more songs by Sam Riegel using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Sponsor Me" is credited to Sam Riegel. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

Album information for "Sponsor Me" is not available in our database yet. You can still read the full lyrics on this page.

Visit the Sam Riegel artist page at /artist/sam-riegel for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.