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There’ll Be Someone At My Funeral Who Doesn’t Want To Be There Lyrics by Sammy J

Symphony In J Minor

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There'll be someone at my funeral who doesn't wanna be there
Someone checkin' their phone in every speech, yeah
Someone who'd rather be home, than remembering me
There'll be someone for whom my funeral is just an obligation
They'll be visibly bored at the cremation
They've got a 2 hour park, and they're waiting to leave
Like my nephew's girlfriend
They've only been together for a month or so
When I get hit by a bus, and though
He's like "Baby, you don't have to come."
Girlfriend's not dumb, she knows
If she goes, then it shows him
That she's sensitive
So she picks a sexy little dress and it
Is just a bit revealing
And that night they go all the way
There'll be someone at my funeral who didn't even know me
Like the guy up the back, running the AV
And he's busting to piss, it's his third funeral that day
And his boss doesn't know, but he turns up early
Each day and takes a selfie
With the corpse, and sends it to his mates
In a WhatsApp group
And they all take turns
Making up the person's final words
It's actually quite funny, all the stuff they say
In a morbid way
But when it's my body then it's not OK!
There'll be someone at my funeral who didn't even like me
They're just turning up to spite me
They'd know I'd hate that they were there
Hugging my family
Writing in the book and sending sympathy
Telling everybody they were fond of me
Even though they chuckled when they heard that I was dead
And instead of staying 'till the end
They slip out in Amazing Grace
Find the food, and stuff their face
With quiche
Funeral quiche
There'll be quiche at my funeral, but I won't get to eat it
And someone's job will be to heat it
Up in the microwave, right on time
And her name is Sue
She's 58 years old
And if my funeral runs late
Then her quiche goes cold
And Sue don't like that
Yeah, Sue thinks that's rude
She knows that people come for grievin'
But they stay there for her food
She's gonna give my mourners food
That's what Sue's gonna do
As the crowd come out
And The Circle of Life plays loudly on the stereo
And my coffin's loaded slowly into a Toyota
Driven by Damian, who needs to get this done
By quarter to 1
Because he's got a physio appointment
And as I drive away
My friends and family say
"What fantastic
Quiche!
What is the recipe, where was it made?
What yummy quiche!
Sammy J's death was a small price to pay
To eat this quiche!
Three cheers for Sue!
Hip, hip, hooray!"
There'll be someone at my funeral who doesn't wanna be there
And no one more than me
Please enjoy the quiche
[Spoken]
Now there's been a lot of talk in the news, of course, about people wanting to change the date of Australia Day, that comes up fairly regularly. Other people want to change the flag, I myself have a vested interest in actually changing the anthem
Not least because I have written a humble alternative, that I would like to leave you with. So the symphony will now end with the following song. Thank you so much for being here and... see you all in Tuscany
Credits
Sammy J

Sammy J

About “There’ll Be Someone At My Funeral Who Doesn’t Want To Be There” by Sammy J

Read the complete lyrics to "There’ll Be Someone At My Funeral Who Doesn’t Want To Be There" by Sammy J from the album "Symphony In J Minor". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"There’ll Be Someone At My Funeral Who Doesn’t Want To Be There" is performed by Sammy J. from the album "Symphony In J Minor" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "There’ll Be Someone At My Funeral Who Doesn’t Want To Be There", explore more songs by Sammy J using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"There’ll Be Someone At My Funeral Who Doesn’t Want To Be There" is credited to Sammy J. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"There’ll Be Someone At My Funeral Who Doesn’t Want To Be There" appears on "Symphony In J Minor".

Visit the Sammy J artist page at /artist/sammy-j for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.