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Cover Art

​Tinder Samurai Lyrics by Samsa

2016

[Intro]
Yo
[Verse]
I like to think I'm well-equipped as any other average guy
But I just can't discover love and I don't even set my standards high
On top of that, I'm camera-shy
Maybe I should opt out of the dating pool and be an undercover Tinder samurai
'Cause I would rather type online than whisper in a dingy bar
And swiping left and right could be my new bushido ninja star
I'm well-versed in virtual lovemaking ninjutsu
On every profile pic I post, I'm posing with my shih tzu
Or flexing with my shirt off, 'cause I heard that gets you hits too
Especially OkCupid, I'm like Eros or the cherubs be
I pierce hearts of women with my cursor and my arrow keys
And disregard my Roman roots, and choose a font that's serif-free
Trust me, I'm a Tinder bio brainiac
The way I kindle fire with matches, I'm a pyromaniac
On ChristianMingle, I'm a casanova, if y'all don't think so, y'all can ask Jehovah
Check your inbox, he might send an answer over
I wish I had the muscles of a granite sculpture
I would log on Ashley Madison and bang adulterers
I'm so lonely, I've considered FarmersOnly just for someone's arms to hold me
Also, I'm really big on agriculture
But if I had that body of a Grecian god
I would trawl on POF.com and use it as a fishing rod
And hope I don't get catfished, the fact is
If I did, I'd pro'bly play along, 'cause God knows I could use the practice
And if I'm aching for my roots, I'd visit shaadi.com
Message Islamic Wahhabi hijabi hotties, "Salaam"
And Sunni, Shia, those are both denominations I respect
'Cause I just care for our connection; I don't care about the sects
Sometimes, I uninstall my apps in reckless insurrectious rage
Then regret it, while I check the Craigslist missed connections page
Then I think that I should get out more, and disregard my mobile cell
Get to know the local teller at my Barnes & Noble well
And check out what she's reading while she's charging up my total sale
And ask her if she likes the novel
And once she answers, ask her if wants to grab some coffee or some ice cream waffles
She'd pro'bly say, "That's awesome", I'd ask her when she's off of work
She might answer, "Midnight", I'd tell her, "That sounds awful! What a bummer!"
And from somewhere, I might muster up the nerve to get her number
And I would ask her what her digits are
And if I play it right, then I can disregard my ninja stars
Say, "Sayonara", to katanas and my other weapons too
And try committing, by committing online dating seppuku
Credits
Samsa

Samsa

About “​Tinder Samurai” by Samsa

Read the complete lyrics to "​Tinder Samurai" by Samsa in 2016. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Hip-Hop, Lo-Fi, Rap.

"​Tinder Samurai" is performed by Samsa. in 2016 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "​Tinder Samurai", explore more songs by Samsa using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"​Tinder Samurai" is credited to Samsa. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

Album information for "​Tinder Samurai" is not available in our database yet. You can still read the full lyrics on this page.

Visit the Samsa artist page at /artist/samsa for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.