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All About Ruprecht Lyrics by Original Broadway Cast of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: Original Broadway Cast Recording

2005

[LAWRENCE, spoken]
You see, my dear...
(sung)
Every royal family, by its nature
Has a sort of price that it must pay
Every noble lineage has
One loose gene
Small as a molecule
Flitting 'round the family pool
It's the sort of thing
One sees in Appalachia
Or in the odd inbred bichon frise
It really can be such a
Nasty stain on the escutcheon
When a wisp of DNA
Begins to fray, then goes astray
Caligula had the temper
The Hapsburgs had the chin
George the Third went cuckoo-bird
And Nero had that violin
Richard, you'll remember
Had the hump and the withered limb
The Bushes of Tex
Were nervous wrecks
Because their son was dim
But look what happened to him!
Alas, our family also
Carries a bit of a curse
But darling, it could be
A great deal worse
Thus ends the verse
Ruprecht's all about
Sun and soda-pop
Paws on puppy-dogs
Candy-canes
Ruprecht's all about
Chocolate bunnies and
Lazy afternoons
And daisy-chains
With a little brother like this
You can't help but have
A happy home
With style upon grace
And a smile upon his face
And all that's missing is a
Chromosome!
But Ruprecht's all about
Hugs and Valentines
That's why people all say
Hey, Ruprecht
You're really okay!
Isn't he adorable?
Ruprecht's all about hugs and Valentines—
["RUPRECHT"]
Milkshake enemas
[LAWRENCE]
—Fun and play!
Ruprecht's all about—
["RUPRECHT"]
Burmese belly-rubs
Fresh-shaved testicles
On Christmas day!
[LAWRENCE]
With a smile that's a mile and a half
And a laugh and a hearty
"Howdya do?"
["RUPRECHT"]
Howdya do?
[LAWRENCE]
It's a cinch that we will be
A happy family
One plus one plus one—
["RUPRECHT"]
Makes two!
Ruprecht's crazy 'bout taxidermy
And KY Jelly on a rubber glove!
[LAWRENCE]
So give him a chance or three
Let him get to know you
And you'll agree
That Ruprecht's...
All about love
Who's the happy chappy
With the ulcerated ear?
[JOLENE]
Ruprecht?
[LAWRENCE]
Who stays awake all night
Hollering out with fear?
["RUPRECHT"]
AHHHH!!!
[JOLENE]
Ruprecht!
[LAWRENCE]
Who likes to spend every
Saturday at the abattoir?
Who gets the cattle-prod if he tries
to hump the samovar?
Who likes to save up all his farts
In a mason jar?
You guessed it!
[LAWRENCE, "RUPRECHT" & ENSEMBLE]
It's Ruprecht
My buddy Ruprecht—
[LAWRENCE]
I like him!
[LAWRENCE, "RUPRECHT" & ENSEMBLE]
Ruprecht...
[LAWRENCE]
And that's about all
Credits
Original Broadway Cast of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Original Broadway Cast of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

About “All About Ruprecht” by Original Broadway Cast of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Read the complete lyrics to "All About Ruprecht" by Original Broadway Cast of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels from the album "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: Original Broadway Cast Recording" in 2005. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Musicals, Soundtrack.

"All About Ruprecht" is performed by Original Broadway Cast of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. from the album "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: Original Broadway Cast Recording" in 2005 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "All About Ruprecht", explore more songs by Original Broadway Cast of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"All About Ruprecht" is credited to Original Broadway Cast of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"All About Ruprecht" appears on "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: Original Broadway Cast Recording" in 2005.

Visit the Original Broadway Cast of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels artist page at /artist/original-broadway-cast-of-dirty-rotten-scoundrels for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.