[Verse 1]
First of all I want to say
I'm not a rapper, I'm not a singer, I'm not an artist
This isn’t music, this is nothing
These are not songs, this is not poetry
These are just some words to talk about my misery
Now, I understand that everything on here I do say
Can and will be used against me, in some way
It’s only a matter of time
Before somebody stumbles by
Decides to have a lot of fun
Telling you how this is dumb
So even though, I would never claim this is some sort of art
I already know, I can expect to be ridiculed and torn apart
But that won’t even rеally matter, I already burn
Mockery is not rеally going to be my biggest concern
‘Cause I’ve been feeling so repressed, for the longest
So I’m just trying to feel better, writing words and
Then I just sing them in my head
Repeating them to myself
‘Cause there’s no way I could reach someone deeply
There’s no place I could let it all out freely
When the voice inside of me just begs to be released
But in this system certainly I cannot do as I please
I am meant to conform without complaining
I am meant to perform without explaining
Ever, to anyone, that I’m barely alive
That this is killing me inside
And I don’t think I will survive
Another year or maybe month
If I have to zip it in my mouth
When in fact I need to scream!
But that wouldn’t be appropriate, right?
I’m just meant to act like everything is alright
[Pre-Chorus]
Every emotion, I just had to repress it
Any affection, I wasn’t allowed to express it
Every tear, I just had to suppress it
With spoken words, I am trying to confess it
Sometimes I just wish I could say what I think
Sometimes I just wish I could say what I think
Sometimes I just wish I could say what I think
Sometimes I just wish I could say what I think
[Chorus]
Sometimes I just wish I could say what I think
At best I sit down and just flow with the ink
This pain that I keep, it just grows every day
But I bury it so deep with the words I don't say
Sometimes I just wish I could let myself scream
For once let it out, maybe set the pain free
I contort in my sleep and I'm going insane
But the silence I speak it is always the same
[Verse 2]
Let explain a little better what the fuck the problem is
Someone I always see not too far won’t like it if
I tell her I just need you in my arms to share a kiss
Just wanna come to you for a hug and never leave
Yeah, that’s just fantasy to me
But reality is
I just don’t know her like this
And of course, oh no, we could never go, we would never do stuff like that
Because I have nothing, nobody wants me, and that’s just a fact
So all of that affection I wanted to give? I had to repress
Doing that everyday, it becomes an overwhelming burden of stress
There are times I just can’t take this life anymore
All I want to do is smash my fucking head against the wall
And of course that’s not something that I’d actually do
But still, all this anger, so intense
I have to mute it all out, and keep up the pretense
Just carry on with my day
Acting like everything is okay…
Like I always have to, ‘cause that is the only way
Then there are the days I want to fucking break down and cry
‘Cause I feel so alone and unwanted, nobody there by my side
And nothing makes no sense, I feel hopeless
Like no matter what I try, it’s all useless
Everything feels wrong
I just wanna collapse and lie motionless on the floor
Like enough is enough, I can’t do this anymore
Really, why am I still alive? should have gone long ago
It feels like I already don’t exist…
So why even persist?
But instead I must continue with the routine
There’s always something to do, I feel like I’m just a machine
Performing task after task, I’m just meant to comply
While I’m wearing my mask, and I’m thinking suicide
And at least with music, maybe, I could get some relief afterwards
But have you heard of noise complains? I can’t just go berserk
For all the times that I wanted to freely sing a song out loud
Screaming at the top of my lungs, don’t even think it’s allowed
They will fucking evict me if I start shouting in my room
What does a man have to do to escape out of this gloom
When acting calm and fake smiles is all they need me to do
[Pre-Chorus]
Every emotion, I just had to repress it
Any affection, I wasn’t allowed to express it
Every tear, I just had to suppress it
With spoken words, I am trying to confess it
Sometimes I just wish I could say what I think
Sometimes I just wish I could say what I think
Sometimes I just wish I could say what I think
Sometimes I just wish I could say what I think
[Chorus]
Sometimes I just wish I could say what I think
At best I sit down and just flow with the ink
This pain that I keep, it just grows every day
But I bury it so deep with the words I don't say
Sometimes I just wish I could let myself scream
For once let it out, maybe set the pain free
I contort in my sleep and I'm going insane
But the silence I speak it is always the same
[Chorus]
Sometimes I just wish I could say what I think
At best I sit down and just flow with the ink
This pain that I keep, it just grows every day
But I bury it so deep with the words I don't say
Sometimes I just wish I could let myself scream
For once let it out, maybe set the pain free
I contort in my sleep and I'm going insane
But the silence I speak it is always the same
