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Stalker Whale (A Parody) Lyrics by StarJake

Misadventures With Candy & Magic : The Mixtape, Vol. 01

2022

"I'M A FAT GIRL
IN A SMALL WORLD
I HAVE NO ASS
AND I HAVE NO TITZ
I WANNA BE A NEIGHBRHOOD WHORE
BUT INSTEAD...
I'M DATING A FAILING YOUTUBER
JUST TO SUCK HIS DING-A-LING
AND MAYBE MAKE A PORNO
I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS
I'M LUCKY TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND
IF ONLY HE KNEW WHO I REALLY AM
A FAT NASTY CHICK ON A WEBCAM
ALONE IN MY PARENT'S HOME
WITH MY TWELVE INCH DILDO
AND MY MARKIPLIER BODY PILLOW
I PROBABLY HAVE DIABETES
BUT TOO BAD
CUZ I LOVE CHEEZE & PIZZA
WIT DA BIG FAT MEAT!
OKAY I'M DONE TALKING BOUT FOOD
CAUSE LIKE, I'M FAT DUDE!
SOOOO
I WANNA BRING UP A TOPIC
IT'S ABOUT A GUY NAMED JAKE
THE DUDE HAS A BIGGER DICK THAN MY BF
BUT HE DOESN'T WANNA BE FAT
SO I BLOCKED HIM THE OTHER NIGHT
SHORTLY AFTER, MY BF DID TOO
CAUSE THATS WHY HE'S MY BOO
HE'S A SENSITIVE CUCK LIKE ME
I'M ONLY DOMINANT
WHEN I MAKE HIM DRINK MY PEE
ITS OVER NOW
HE'S BLOCKED LIKE CHEEZE
AND I'M TAKING A SHEET
I HAVE ZITS ALL OVER MY COOCHIE
I WANNA TAKE MY BF TO THA MOVIEZ
BUT HE LIVES TOO FAR AWAAAY
I LOOKED IN THA MIRROR TODAY
I GOT HAIR ON MY LIPS
AND HAIR ALL UP ON MY TITS
SO I GOTTA PUT ON A BIG OUTFIT
TO HIDE ALL THIS DISGUSTING SHIT
MY BF THINKS I'M BEAUTIFUL....
EVEN THO HE'S CLEARLY LYING
IT'S JUST SO HARD TO ACCEPT
THAT NOBODY LIKES ME
...
...
WAIT WAIT, HOL UP
SO, I'M STALKING JAKE'S PAGE
WITH ONE OF MY 50 ALTERNATES
HE POSTED ABOUT MY BF'S CHANNEL
HIS POST FILLED ME WITH RAGE
MADE ME WANNA SUCK OFF CANDLE
SAYING MY BF IS JEALOUS OF HIM....
LIKE HONEY
THIS IS NOT OKAY
SO I UNBLOCK HIM
AND I SEND HIM HARASSING MESSAGES
CAUSE I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO MIND MY OWN BUSINESS
AND I'M A SENSITIVE STALKER WHALE
JAKE EVENTUALLY MADE A VIDEO ON HIM
THAT HAS ME BLOWN UP
FATTER THAN I ALREADY AM
BIGGER THAN A FUCKING BLIMP
I SNITCHED TO MY FAILING BOYFRIEND
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
HARASS HIM FOR ME
MAKE A VIDEO FOR ME
HE HURT MY FEELINGS
HE MADE ME CRY
MY BF MADE A VIDEO
I KNOW HE RAN HIS LIPS
LIED, & EVERYTHING
BUT THATS FINE BY ME
CAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS
AND I LOVE WHEN HE AGREES
EVEN IF ITS A FUCKING LIE
HE'S SO HOT
I JUST WISH HE HAD A BIGGER COCK
AND MY CLIT WASN'T COMPLETELY
COVERED WITH ZITS
MY BF MESSAGED HIM
WE CALLED & MADE UP
VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD BIG BOY
JAKE DELETED HIS VIDEO
AND NOW MY BF
IS BACK TO BEING MY TOY
...
...
O..... M...... G......
SO I THOUGHT THIS WAS ALL OVER
BUT I GUESS NOT
I THOUGHT JAKE DELETED HIS VIDEO
BUT I WENT BEHIND AN ALTERNATE
CAUSE I'M AN OVERWEIGHT CUCK
WITH A SLIMY, ZITTY, HAIRY CUNT
AND.....
HE FUCKING UNLISTED IT!!!
I MESSAGED MY TINY DICK BF
TO BLOCK HIM AGAIN
HONESTLY FOR NO REAL REASON
JUST CUS I'M A FAT BITCH
.....
JUST SAY HE'S DISRESPECTFUL!
*CRYING*
WHY DOES NOBODY LIKE ME
WHY CANT I
MIND MY OWN FUCKING BUSINESS!
I'M JUST A FAT UGLY MESS
AND MY SEX LIFE IS SO SHITTY
I CANT EVEN SUCK A FUCKING DICKY
CAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW
AND I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING COW
I'M GONNA GO DROWN MYSWLF NOW
IN A BIG FUCKING POOL OF CHEETOS
CAUSE I'LL NEVER BE POPULAR
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO TOUCH MY TOES
AND I'M SURE THAT MY BF
HAS LOTS OF OTHER FAT NASTY HOES
*CRIES*"
Credits
StarJake

StarJake

About “Stalker Whale (A Parody)” by StarJake

Read the complete lyrics to "Stalker Whale (A Parody)" by StarJake from the album "Misadventures With Candy & Magic : The Mixtape, Vol. 01" in 2022. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Stalker Whale (A Parody)" is performed by StarJake. from the album "Misadventures With Candy & Magic : The Mixtape, Vol. 01" in 2022 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Stalker Whale (A Parody)", explore more songs by StarJake using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Stalker Whale (A Parody)" is credited to StarJake. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Stalker Whale (A Parody)" appears on "Misadventures With Candy & Magic : The Mixtape, Vol. 01" in 2022.

Visit the StarJake artist page at /artist/starjake for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.