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If I Was the King Lyrics by Steel Panther

All You Can Eat

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[Verse 1]
If I was the King
I would get myself a bitchin' crown
And I'd make all the bitches call me Sir Michael Starr
I'd have a castle and a bitchin' throne
And at night I'd go in the town
In a big stretch Hummer with a hot tub and a bar
[Chorus]
If I was the King
I would outlaw clothes for chicks
So you could see if they shaved their pussies
Or if they were hiding dicks
I'd lower the drinking age
So little kids could get drunk too
And I'd make it a fucking crime to wear a wedding ring
If I was the King
[Bridge]
That'd be fuckin' nice right?
[Verse 2]
I'd knock down all the schools
And put up liquor stores
And give free boobjobs to the strippers and the whores
I would outlaw common sense
Feed the homeless to the wolves
And if you didn't like Steel Panther you'd go to jail!
[Chorus 2]
If I was the King
I'd make beer the official food
And you'd never have to take the trash out
If you happen to be born a dude
You could buy hand grenades at Starbucks
And take a shit right on the street
And I'd kill Katy Perry so I wouldn't have to hear her sing
If I was the King
Here comes the court jester man!
And if the motherfucking peasents didn't like it
I would tell them all to suck my dick
Suck my dick
Suck my dick
Legalize masturbation
At every strip joint in the nation
And the minimum cup size would have to be a double D
Oh yeah
But if you were in a band
You wouldn't have to use your hand
There'd be mandatory blowjobs for guys like you and me!
If I was the King
Megan Fox would be my Queen
But I'd still fuck Christie Brinkley
And any girl older than 16
I'd execute One Direction
And drop a nuke on the Middle East
But I'd take the oil first so we wouldn't have to feel the sting
If I was the King
If I was the King
If I was the King
Credits
Steel Panther

Steel Panther

About “If I Was the King” by Steel Panther

Read the complete lyrics to "If I Was the King" by Steel Panther from the album "All You Can Eat". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under USA, In English, Rock.

"If I Was the King" is performed by Steel Panther. from the album "All You Can Eat" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "If I Was the King", explore more songs by Steel Panther using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"If I Was the King" is credited to Steel Panther. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"If I Was the King" appears on "All You Can Eat".

Visit the Steel Panther artist page at /artist/steel-panther for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.