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Auntie Toothache Lyrics by Stephin Merritt

Showtunes

0

"In't it strange," said the inkwell
"All that comes out of me!
The famous lines! The valentines!
And sometimes poetry
Just think! Without an inkwell, where
Would the poet be?"
"I'll make you change your mind,"
Said the pen, plucked from the tail of a bird
"Those famous lines, those valentines
I wrote them, every word
Without a pen, never again would
Poetry be heard."
Forget the inkwell and the pen
When Auntie Toothache comes again
The poet, saddest of all men
Can sing no more
When Auntie Toothache starts her torture
With her pliers and her lance and her fires
She desires him to dance
And so they dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance
And Auntie Toothache wields her tongs
And makes her poet sing her songs
In screams and whimpers, till he longs
To die right now
Then Auntie Toothache makes him vow
With one more cup of fire ants
That he'll give up poetry and take up dance
And so they dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance
He never writes another line
His life becomes a valentine
To Auntie Toothache and her fine
Degrees of pain
From lack of sleep he goes insane
And fancies he's the King of France
Beset by bees, Auntie Toothache whispers, "dance!"
And so they dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance
And they dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance
And they dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance
And they dance, dance, dance, dance, da da da da da da da...
Credits
Stephin Merritt

Stephin Merritt

About “Auntie Toothache” by Stephin Merritt

Read the complete lyrics to "Auntie Toothache" by Stephin Merritt from the album "Showtunes". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Auntie Toothache" is performed by Stephin Merritt. from the album "Showtunes" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Auntie Toothache", explore more songs by Stephin Merritt using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Auntie Toothache" is credited to Stephin Merritt. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Auntie Toothache" appears on "Showtunes".

Visit the Stephin Merritt artist page at /artist/stephin-merritt for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.