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Let’s Get Small Lyrics by Steve Martin

Let’s Get Small

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[most of the dialogue of this track is missing]

...

I'm on drugs. I'm, uh, I mean, you know what it is. What's the deal, man? I like to get small. It's a wild, wild drug. Very dangerous for kids though, because they get really small. I know I shouldn't get small when I'm drivin', but, uh, I was drivin' around the other day, you know [whistles tunefully] and a cop pulls me over. And he goes, 'Hey, are you small?' I said, 'No, I'm tall, I'm tall.' He said, 'Well, I'm gonna have to measure you.' They've got a little test they give you; it's a balloon, and if you can get inside of it, they know... you're small. And they can't put you in a regular cell either, because you walk right out. One night I got really small...

...

Ok, I don’t like to gear my material to the audience but I’d like to make an exception because I was told that there is a convention of plumbers in San Francisco this week – I understand about 30 of them came down to the show tonight – so before I came out I worked-up a joke especially for the plumbers. Those of you who aren’t plumbers probably won’t get this and won’t think it’s funny, but I think those of you who are plumbers will really enjoy this. So if you're not a plumber, please just bear with me for a while and just kinda, y'know, hold off on this. But I would like to do this. Here we go

This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7 inch Gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, “You can’t work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7 inch wrench.” Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, “The Langstrom 7 inch wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket.” Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, “It says sprocket not socket!" [Chuckles]

Were these plumbers supposed to be here this show or…? Okay, um, well, I think we're having fun now. Sure, I'm pissed

...

[Banjo] Isn't that a happy sound? Just, [banjo] You just can't sing a depressing song when you're playing the banjo. You just can't go, [banjo] "Oh death and grief and sorrow and murder." [banjo] When you're playing the banjo everything's ok. "Hey Steve! Your house is burning down!" [banjo] I always thought the banjo was the one thing that coulda saved Nixon. If he went on television right at the right time and went, "Hi! Everything's great!" [banjo] I think it would have been great if he'd been traveling around the country and got off the plane and said, "I'd like to talk about politics, but first a little Foggy Mountain Breakdown!" [banjo]

...
Credits
Steve Martin

Steve Martin

About “Let’s Get Small” by Steve Martin

Read the complete lyrics to "Let’s Get Small" by Steve Martin from the album "Let’s Get Small". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Comedy, Pop.

"Let’s Get Small" is performed by Steve Martin. from the album "Let’s Get Small" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Let’s Get Small", explore more songs by Steve Martin using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Steve Martin · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Let’s Get Small" is credited to Steve Martin. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Let’s Get Small" appears on "Let’s Get Small".

Visit the Steve Martin artist page at /artist/steve-martin for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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