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Chinese Vacation Lyrics by Steve Poltz

Chinese Vacation

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Your grandma's on a walker in the old folk's home
Your grandpa lost his dentures and he's starting to foam
Your dad's inside a biker bar; he's acting like a turd
He's sittin' on a stool and yelling “play Free Bird!”
Well I'm wondering what the heck is wrong with all of your kin
Your sister stole my credit card and figured out my PIN
And the love you say you have for me is just imagination
I'm gonna send your ass on a Chinese vacation
So far away
I'm sending you away today
Down Beijing way
Across the wall you'll join the fray
And I'm feeling really gay
'cause you're a million miles away
You stabbed me in the heart with a plastic fork
You chewed me up and spit me out like sweet-n-sour pork
And when the waiter brought the bill you just expected me to pay
You ran out with some moviestar and left me here to stay
I'm wondering what the hell that I'm supposed to do
I'm sick of love and feel just like I got the flu
Well what the doctor ordered for me is some rejuvenation
I'm gonna send your ass on a Chinese vacation
So far away
I'm sending you away today
Down Beijing way
Across the wall you'll join the fray
And I'm feeling really gay
€˜cause you're a million miles away
I coulda been happy just to take any chance
I'd seduce ya, and kiss you, and search for romance
I got a chopstick reserved for you deep in my pants
But you sting just like ants
And you're making it so hard to dance
Hey, I forgot how to do the dance
Your heart is like an army that can do no wrong
You treat me like a puppet state, I'm just Taiwan
So go ahead and call the guard and call off all of your troops
My tears are just as salty as this wonton soup
And my strength is just as limp as a Chinese noodle
What the hell are you trying to feed me;
Is it pork or is it poodle?
I need a special visa from the United Nations
I'm gonna send your ass on a Chinese vacation
So far away
I'm sending you away today
Down Peking way
Across the wall you'll join the fray
And I'm feeling really gay
€˜cause you're a million miles away
But I feel so sad today
Like you're a billion miles away
Credits
Steve Poltz

Steve Poltz

About “Chinese Vacation” by Steve Poltz

Read the complete lyrics to "Chinese Vacation" by Steve Poltz from the album "Chinese Vacation". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Chinese Vacation" is performed by Steve Poltz. from the album "Chinese Vacation" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Chinese Vacation", explore more songs by Steve Poltz using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Chinese Vacation" is credited to Steve Poltz. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Chinese Vacation" appears on "Chinese Vacation".

Visit the Steve Poltz artist page at /artist/steve-poltz for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.