This is a Neuro-Activity Module, broadcast to you on the wavelength of sound. NAMs help you “be” more easily. From Conceptat, the idea agency.’
Relationships. A play
[Narrator] Kev and Kath, function and data processors for Conceptat, the idea agency, have recently attended the office self-awareness weekend at the old mill by the stream. Kath is under stress as a result of an attack made outside the Green Man. Kev has left his first wife, who he has understood so well that she no longer exists. Hrrrh hrrrh winebar, hrrrh hrrrh cosy place between town and country. However, the noisy quiet has been broken by a card from the local society. “Come to the Union Ball!” it reads. “Bring two presents, a What and a Why.” Kev is anxious...
[Kath is humming to herself]
[Kev] Hey, we'll never be ready for the union ball unless you get a move on. Isn't that What present ready yet?
[Kath] Oh I'm sorry but it's not an easy job throwing a lovely plate of spinach gnocchi together. There's so much to do and I'm still only half ready
[Kev] That's true, so it's a good job you had that mixture already prepared, isn't it?
[Kath] Yes it is, but do you remember what was in it?
[Computer Voice] Please press 'Return' on your computers now
[Computer noises]
[Kev] No, I can't say I do
[Kath] Do you even remember what gnocchi were?
[Kev] Well, are they foreign?
[Kath] Yes
[Kev] Oh yes, they're dumplings, but surely they've got potatoes in, haven't they?
[Kath] No, no, those are Roman gnocchi. These are Florentine
[Kev] Florence is one of the great Renaissance towns of the North Italian plain, wasn't it?
[Computer Voice] Please press 'Return' on your computers now
[Computer noises]
[Kath] Yes, so to get it confused with Rome is quite out, isn't it?
[Kev] Yes totally. Oh, but you were describing the process?
[Kath] Yes. First, we mince the spinach extremely fine. Then, using a wooden spoon, and please make sure it is wooden, we heated the cheese, nutmeg, and onion in butter. After a minute or so, we stirred in the spinach
[Kev] Then what, Kath?
[Kath] Then we added the eggs, flour and parmesan, and left it in the fridge for an hour or so
[Kev] And er, is that it?
[Kath] No, not quite Kev. We have to roll out the mixture into small balls, cover them with flour, then drop them into boiling water
[Kev] Oh yes, and only when the balls float up to the surface are they ready?
[Kath] You've got it
[Kev] Well Kath, with these on top of pasta and a tangy green salad, all the other couples at the Union Ball would be well satisfied with our 'What' present
[Kath] Oh I do hope so it's good natural food, but one does get types at a Union Ball. Individuals always ruin things. Oh, have you given any more thought to your 'Why' present?
[Kev] Err, in bits
[Kath] That doesn't sound very hopeful...
[Kev] Well, I've got plenty of ideas but, actually ordering a subroutine through a well-defined information procedure with an acceptable entertainment program is, well, tricky
[Kath] I can understand that. I mean, take me. I was small at first. Next thing I've grown bigger. Before you know it, I'm big and I'm here and I'm being asked to make a 'What' present
[Kev] Yeah, yeah...
[Kath] And you know, Kev, I just knew that spinach gnocchi were right. I didn't have to think about it, I just knew. It was like a vision...
[Kev] Well, I just wish it was as easy for me. I have to start at the bottom and work everything out in bits, and only when each bit is right can I go on to the next bit
[Kath] That's going to take forever!
[Kev] I know, the first bit feels like it's taken centuries as it is
[Kath] Never mind. What's the bit you have got like?
[Kev] Erm, well, I thought I'd try and experiment with some chemical references, but, in a philosophical sort of way, keeping its mathematics artistic, and its' physical structure as entertaining as possible
[Kath] Sounds okay, but how does it actually sound?
[Kev] Ah... oh, nope, that's a... slightly different matter. It's sort of... well... I mean it's, erm..
[Kath] Yes?
[Kev] Well, I suppose you could... call it musical, on one-on one level. There's er, four sections, and, um...
[Music starts to play as he speaks]
[Kev] The rhythm that comes in first, but, the music's not really important at all actually it's, erm, um... it's a sort of rubbish guide, erm... kind of background thingy, but the main fact- the main, the main thing is other bits, erm... Although they're not actually just random bits. They all... work together. There's, erm... there's a reason for them, though its' ... ah, it's really difficult to explain. See, on their own, on their own, out of context, erm... if you've heard them for the first time, then probably, that's absolutely ridiculous, which is the problem, really, because, you know, I've got to bring all this together, all this... all this information, in one, factuous present, and it's... to be honest, it's absolutely ridiculous, I don't know how... In addition, it's got to be entertaining of course, and then, and then I'm, I'm absolutely, you know, I'm the crazy one. If I do anything that's supposed to be not done, but erm... oh, you're not listening. It's not that at all, but listen. Just hold on. Look, here's a minor section coming up anyway...
[Singing]
Sweet heart, save your problems for a rainy day
Sweet heart, what's the matter with you anyway?
You say what I say
What's the difference, can you say?
Choose a fate, I will destroy its name
Choose her face, I will destroy its name
Choose a fate, I will destroy its name
Choose her face, I will destroy its name
Choose a fate, I will destroy its name
Choose her face, I will destroy its name
Choose a fate, I will destroy its name
Choose her face, I will destroy its name
Choose a fate, I will destroy its name
Choose her face, I will destroy its name
Choose a fate, I will destroy its name
Choose her face, I will destroy its name...
