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No One Remembers Achmed Lyrics by Team StarKid

Twisted: The Untold Story Of A Royal Vizier

2013

Soldiers: (Alternating)
In your homeland you're a legend
All the people know your name
On the battlefield and off you are superior
Achmed:
(Spoken) I know.
In the kingdom, though, I'm finding
that my only claim to fame
is an incident involving my posterior
Soldiers:
Posterior
Achmed:
(Spoken) Please.
I've won scores of bloody wars
And mopped the floors with my foes
But no one remembers Achmed
I've eviscerated peasants
From their heads down to their toes
But no one remembers Achmed
Say my name in these parts
And you'll get a vacant stare
Until you mention tigers
Or spotted underwear
Soldiers:
Spotted underwear
Achmed:
So to restore my repute
As a fierce fearsome brute,
There's only one route I see
Arrange the slaughter of millions
Of innocent civilians
Then they'll remember me
(Dialogue)
Soldiers: (Alternating) (Achmed:)
Caked in mud or drenched in blood
You smell as fresh as a flower
((Spoken) Yes...)
But no one remembers Achmed
You can pleasure sixty concubines
In only an hour
((Spoken) Less!)
But no one remembers Achmed
Achmed:
Back home I was a hero
Ladies trembled when I spoke
But here the women treat me
Like a throwaway joke
Soldiers:
Throw him away
Achmed:
I'm a god on Earth but darnit
Even deities incarnate
Now and then can feel a little insecure
Soldiers:
Insecure
Achmed:
All I want is some affection
This rejection's almost
Too much to endure...
Soldiers:
To endure
Look at all he must endure
(Dialogue)
Soldiers:
You ooze sex when you flex
Those impeccable pecs
Achemd:
But the princess rejects me still
She may not love me yet
But I'm willing to bet
That once I kill all her people she will...
Soldiers:
Yes she will
Yes she absolutely will
Achmed:
Let them laugh, that's just fine
But the last laugh will be mine
All:
'Cause they can't laugh when they're all dead
I'll make them all regret
The day they chose to forget
Achmed:
(Spoken) What's that name everyone?
Soldiers:
Tiger-fucker!
Achmed:
(Spoken) No! Like I said, what's that name?
Soldiers:
You're the cock of the walk
With abs as hard as a rock
Nevermore will they mock you Achmed
Soldier:
He fucked a tiger
Achmed:
(Spoken) I did not fuck a tiger!
Soldiers:
They'll remember Achmed...
They'll remember Achmed...
They'll remember Achmed...
Achmed:
They'll remember me...
Soldiers:
Tiger fucker
Tiger fucker
Achmed is a tiger fucker!
They'll remember Achmed
The tiger fucking man!
Credits
Team StarKid

Team StarKid

About “No One Remembers Achmed” by Team StarKid

Read the complete lyrics to "No One Remembers Achmed" by Team StarKid from the album "Twisted: The Untold Story Of A Royal Vizier" in 2013. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music.

"No One Remembers Achmed" is performed by Team StarKid. from the album "Twisted: The Untold Story Of A Royal Vizier" in 2013 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "No One Remembers Achmed", explore more songs by Team StarKid using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"No One Remembers Achmed" is credited to Team StarKid. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"No One Remembers Achmed" appears on "Twisted: The Untold Story Of A Royal Vizier" in 2013.

Visit the Team StarKid artist page at /artist/team-starkid for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.