[Host: Donnie Narco]
Ah, damn, man. Sorry homies, my bad. You know we runnin' on that hip hop time. What up, what up, what up? Alright, let's shoot this bitch real quick, no Selena
What up, Oakland? Yeah, Town Business, baby! Alright, this is the Killafornia Battle League and I be's your host, Donnie Narco. AKA The Walk Drug Lab, AKA The Cocaine Cowboy, AKA Mr. Splash Put My Drink On Yo' Bitch's Ass And Won't Even Tip The Glass. You feel me? Aight, cool
First up, we got a cool one-round battle to kick off these tryouts. To my right, straight outta Korea Town, Los Angeles, give it up for Prospek. And to my left, we got a newcomer on the scene who I hear gon' be a real problem – a REAL problem – Adam Murk 'Em!
[Adam]
It's... just Adam
[Donnie Narco]
Just Adam? Ha. Okay, cool. He on that Cher, Ronaldo, Roseanne-type vibe. I feel you, player. Aight, since you the new white boy on the scene, we gon' show you a little bit of love
It's on you, Prospek. Get him!
[Round 1: Prospek/Dumbfoundead]
Yo, who the fuck set me up with this little homo?
This kid look like he should be doin' Disney promos
He look like he love writing essays like a prison cholo
His yearbook photo look like the bitch from the Wendy's logo
You probably came here in a Budweiser truck
With a bumper sticker that says "I'll die for Trump"
Basically, what I'm saying is you white as fuck
Lookin' like Conan O'Brien's son or the little dude on the logo for Hawaiian Punch
How the fuck is this white nerd gonna outsmart this Asian? What the fuck are you doin'?
You seen Virginia Tech, we even better at school shootings
Don't buy drugs from this man, just a word of advice
He's either a cop or reporter; either way, he's working for Vice
Actually, if I'm really squintin', you kinda look like Tilda Swinton
Actually, he kinda look like one of them YouTube kids on Ellen DeGeneres...when she feelin' hella generous
You prolly get into fights like, "Let me at 'em!"
Actually, his butler be fighting for him like, "Let me, Adam"
Man, these yuppies are the worst
Can you picture him in a Starbucks line with Ugg boots and a puppy in his purse
Petting it like, "OMG, it's so fluffy that it hurts"
[Adam's inner monologue]
Puppy in his purse, ahh, eating dogs, got some takeout
Nah, that's too racist, can't be racist
Disney, Disney logo, D looks like a G, Virginia Tech. It's offensive. Virgin in tact, disturbing the dead
[Prospek/Dumbfoundead]
Motherfucker, oh, the irony
You look like Ron Weasley but you sound like Hermione
I'm Asian, so it's only right that I'm serving this ginger
I saw this nerd up on Tinder, he had Little Mermaid as his picture
So I don't know if I should slap you like a bitch or punch your face like a man
'Cause I keep switching from open palm to fist, like a white boy...shaking ya hand
[Round 1: Adam]
I can't believe this guy's up here talking about Virginia Tech
That's offensive to the victims and their families, why are you disturbing the dead?
You need to stop; if I had a Disney promo, that means that I've popped
You kinda remind me of the D in Disney: you look like a G, but you're not
When they talk about top prospects, they don't even call your name out
I do have a puppy in my bag: I'm delivering your takeout!
Yo, you're so Asian, you can use a piece of string as an eye mask
And when you watch movies on your iPad, it looks like an IMAX
Beating me? That's harder than you trying to score with divas
Pronouncing "broccoli" properly or getting the border visa to North Korea
Even Asian bitches won't fuck you, that means you're hella frail
Ordering tuna and sushi is the only time you get yellow tail
'Cause your dick is so small you can't tell your cock from your testicles
Something's wrong with your genitals when your bitch would rather fuck octopus tentacles
So yeah, you're hustlin' weed, but you're the corner boy stuck in the streets
It's bonsai, he'll just take a little cut from the trees
You talk about killing people in your rhymes and act like you have real homis
It's like your anime girl pillows: stop pretending they're real bodies
'Cause actual Gs? You ain't kill none, so shut the fuck up and chill, son
Just 'cause you look like Kim Jong-un doesn't mean you're ill, son
And since you believe in feng shui, I'm gonna break in as an intruder at night
Move your couch an inch or two to the right and fuckin' ruin your life!
Yo, your whole crew looks like an Asian porn star, where they censor around where her bush be
'Cause all I see is a bunch of squares surrounding this pussy
This murder's so cold you can see this man's breath
I'll kill your supporters, too, for sleeping: that's Korean fan death!
Either be a little boy or geriatric for your lifespan
Oh, you got some egg in your face...which makes sense 'cause you're shaped like a fuckin' frying pan
See, I had a trap set, you just played into my plan
'Cause you really don't know what you're fucking with like you had a one night stand in Thailand
Faggot!
