Lyrks
Lyrks
Sign In
Cover Art

Bald Lyrics by The Darkness

One Way Ticket to Hell... and Back

2005

[Verse 1]
It would appear that male pattern
Baldness has set in
His hair, at an alarming pace
Running away from his face
He's losing his virility
And now his masculinity
Has been compromised
And his libido down-sized

[Pre-Chorus]
Not for me, not for me, not for me, ah-ah
Not for me, not for me
Heaven forbid
It's not for me, you understand

[Chorus]
Bald, slap-headed and hairless (Bald)
Bald, he is destined to be
Bald
Well, tonight, thank God it's him (Thank God, instead of me)

[Verse 2]
From what I have been reading
His scalp needs kneading
To stimulate each folicle
And reverse this diabolical
Condition that's afflicted him
For years, and has cruelly
Repulsed each potential mate
And left him with a balding pate

[Pre-Chorus]
Not for me, not for me, not for me, ah-ah
Not for me, not for me
Heaven forbid
It's not for me, you understand

[Chorus]
Bald, slap-headed and hairless (Bald)
Bald, he is destined to be
Bald
Well, tonight, thank God it's him (Thank God, instead of me)

Sock it to me, baby, yeah!

[Solo 1]

[Pre-Chorus]
Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
Not for me, not for me
Heaven forbid
It's not for me, you understand
Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
Not for me, not for me
Heaven forbid
It's not for me, you understand

[Chorus]
Bald, slap-headed and hairless (Bald)
Bald, he is destined to be
Bald
Well, tonight, thank God it's him (Thank God, instead of me)
Thank God!

[Solo 2]

[Chorus]
Bald, slap-headed and hairless (Bald)
Bald, he is destined to be
Bald
Well, tonight, thank God it's him (Thank God, instead of me)

About “Bald” by The Darkness

Read the complete lyrics to "Bald" by The Darkness from the album "One Way Ticket to Hell... and Back" in 2005. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Bald" is performed by The Darkness. from the album "One Way Ticket to Hell... and Back" in 2005 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Bald", explore more songs by The Darkness using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for The Darkness · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Bald" is credited to The Darkness. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Bald" appears on "One Way Ticket to Hell... and Back" in 2005.

Visit the The Darkness artist page at /artist/the-darkness for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.


Lyrks
Lyrks

Your gateway to the world of music lyrics.

Product

Features


© 2026 Lyrks. All rights reserved.