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Hitchhiker Joe Lyrics by The Rugburns

Morning Wood

0

Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
I had a cousin who came from Vermont
Next thing I know, that cousin was gone
Truck driver saw him picking up Hitchhiker Joe
Now his spleen's on the sidewalk helping flowers grow
Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
My best friend Eddie called from L.A
Said we'd have dinner later that day
I've got a feeling, and it's more than a hunch
My poor friend Eddie was that hitchhiker's lunch
Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Hitchhiker Joe ain't no vegetarian
If you see him on the highway
Steer clear of him
He got a knife in his sock
And a razor up his sleeve
And a chainsaw in his pack
And he's gonna make you bleed, yeah, yeah
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
My girfriend Lois called from Talahassee
She picked up that dude at the Spam factory
That was the last time that I saw her smile
My best advice is don't eat Spam for a while
Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Don't pick up (Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Hitchhiker Joe (Bom, bom, bom, bom)
He'll slit your throat (Bom, bom, bom, bom)
And cut off your big toe
He'll make you smile (Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
From ear to ear (Bom, bom, bom, bom)
Gonna lock you in a trunk (Bom, bom, bom, bom)
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe (Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
He'll slit your throat (Bom, bom, bom, bom)
And cut off your big toe (Bom, bom, bom, bom)
He'll make you smile (Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
From ear to ear (Bom, bom, bom, bom)
Gonna lock you in a trunk (Bom, bom, bom, bom)
For ninety-na-na-na-na-na-na-na now (Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Do-ooh-ooh-n't (Bom, bom, bom, bom)
Pick up (Bom, bom, bom, bom)
Hitchhiker (Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
He got to cut off your big, your big, your big (Bom, bom, bom, bom)
He'll make you smile (Bom, bom, bom, bom)
From ear to ear (Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Gonna lock you
Credits
The Rugburns

The Rugburns

About “Hitchhiker Joe” by The Rugburns

Read the complete lyrics to "Hitchhiker Joe" by The Rugburns from the album "Morning Wood". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Hitchhiker Joe" is performed by The Rugburns. from the album "Morning Wood" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Hitchhiker Joe", explore more songs by The Rugburns using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Hitchhiker Joe" is credited to The Rugburns. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Hitchhiker Joe" appears on "Morning Wood".

Visit the The Rugburns artist page at /artist/the-rugburns for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.