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Don’t Slay That Potato Lyrics by Tom Paxton

One Million Lawyers and Other Disasters

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Don't Slay That Potato
By Tom Paxton
How can you do it? It's heartless, it's cruel
It's murder, cold-blooded, it's gross
To slay a poor vegetable just for your stew
Or to serve with some cheese sauce on toast
Have you no decency? Have you no shame?
Have you no conscience, you cad
To rip that poor vegetable out of the earth
Away from it's poor mom and dad?
Chorus:
Oh, no, don't slay that potato!
Let us be merciful, please
Don't boil it or fry it, don't even freeze-dry it
Don't slice it or flake it
For God's sake, don't bake it!
Don't she'd the poor blood
Of this poor helpless spud
That's the worst kind of thing you could do
Oh, no, don't slay that potato
What never done nothing to you!
Why not try picking on something your size
Instead of some carrot or bean?
The peas are all trembling there in their pod
Just because you're so vicious and mean
How would you like to be grabbed by your hair
And ruthlessly yanked from your bed
And have done to you God knows what horrible things
To be eaten with full-fiber bread?
[Chorus:]
It's no bed of roses, this vegetable life
You're basically stuck in the mud
You don't get around much. You don't see the sights
When you're a carrot or celery or spud
You're helpless when somebody's flea-bitten dog
Takes a notion to pause for relief
Then somebody picks you and cleans you and eats you
And causes you nothing but grief
[Chorus:]
There ought to be some way of saving our skins
They ought to be passing a law
Just show anybody a cute little lamb
And they'll all stand around and go "Aw!"
Well, potatoes are ugly. Potatoes are plain
We're wrinkled and lumpy to boot
But give me a break, kid. Do you mean to say
That you'll eat us because we're not cute?
(Chorus
Credits
Tom Paxton

Tom Paxton

About “Don’t Slay That Potato” by Tom Paxton

Read the complete lyrics to "Don’t Slay That Potato" by Tom Paxton from the album "One Million Lawyers and Other Disasters". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Don’t Slay That Potato" is performed by Tom Paxton. from the album "One Million Lawyers and Other Disasters" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Don’t Slay That Potato", explore more songs by Tom Paxton using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Don’t Slay That Potato" is credited to Tom Paxton. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Don’t Slay That Potato" appears on "One Million Lawyers and Other Disasters".

Visit the Tom Paxton artist page at /artist/tom-paxton for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.