[Verse 1] She was only fourteen when her song hit the charts About how she gets off when she breaks losers' hearts A slick power ballad with fiddle strapped on They filed it as Country and contracts were drawn She was humble and small-town and sexy as hell Just the right combination to sell She sold t-shirts and wife beaters, shotguns and Bibles and kegs All with pictures of her with crossed legs While the poor folk kept rackin' up debt She would swim through their cash every night in hеr jet [Chorus] Smilin' and gigglin' and winkin' and prayin' Sayin' "I'm just like you" as she drank hеr champagne In her oversized mansion like Charles Foster Kane Far above all the crops and the flowers Set up shop on the top of Humility Tower [Verse 2] But despite her success, critics panned her CD They called her work country without the "ry" When she learned what that meant, well she burst into tears But her manager/dad said "Tears are for queers Now the next time some fool tries to tell you you're nuts Just remember that Christ hates their guts Satan's got nothin' better to do than to make you feel sad." Then she kissed him and whispered, "Thanks dad." No one missed her mom more than he did But he saw his ex-wife in his young, wealthy kid [Chorus] So sharing a love that dare not speak its name They had dozens of children with half of a brain Who got kicked out of more schools than Charles Foster Kane And a few of 'em drowned in the shower Falling down to the ground from Humility Tower [Verse 3] One day while screaming at her maids again She took a bottle of her closest friend Drank a shot and then thought "Hey, I'm bored so why not run for governor?" (She knew the people loved her) She ran practically unopposed And even then she only won by a nose Then she downed a few more shots and took a brief nap and Woke up in the Capital, wonderin' what happened [Verse 4] "I'm the governor now," she realized with a smirk She shrugged both her shoulders and sat down to work And two minutes later she tried to break loose But the windows were locked so escape was no use Then a tall handsome white man appeared at her door With an offer she could not ignore He was seeking to conquer the world with a girl running mate She was female and thus it was fate He had greatness way down in his seed And he knew she'd be just the vagina he'd need! [Chorus] And so she set out to quadruple her fame And she used her old hit song to drive the campaign Yeah, she's running for office like Charles Foster Kane Not just drunken, but roofied with power Ninety proof from the roof of Humility Tower [Verse 5] And then she got her own magazine She found a photo of herself as a teen And she pasted that face On her real face's place for the cover (She knew that that would make us love her) The headline was a work of art "Can she save America" question mark And as she took it to press, I swear I heard her mumble "If I make it a question, it'll make me look humble" [Verse 6] Then a prime-time cartoon went and called her a phony And words from a cartoon add more acrimony So she went on the news to express her disgust "How DARE this cartoon make a fool out of us! And by us I mean me and by me I mean you! This affects ALL you motherfuckers too! How do you folk expect me to save our poor country someday With these meddling cartoons in the way? I may be a barrel of fish with a free gun attached But I'll make that an itch too immoral to scratch!" [Chorus] So now if you slander her poor wretched name You'll be worse than Al-Qaeda and twice as profane Yeah, she's stifled her subjects like Charles Foster Kane Like a lawnmower stifles a flower What a wife, what a life on Humility Yes, she can cure all diseases and fly with no plane She's a solid-gold shotgun that can't even aim And she's got fewer critics than Citizen Kane As she smiles, all the while her eyes glower Wave Seig Heil from her mile-high Humility Tower And she thinks of her sled twice an hour Yeah, she said she feels dead on Humility Tower And she quietly moans in the shower On her throne made of bones, all alone in Humility Tower
Read the complete lyrics to "Humility Tower" by Tony Goldmark from the album "Goldmark After Dark". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop, Comedy.
"Humility Tower" is performed by Tony Goldmark. from the album "Goldmark After Dark" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL.
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"Humility Tower" is credited to Tony Goldmark. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.
"Humility Tower" appears on "Goldmark After Dark".
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