[Part I: Hood Santa]
[Intro]
Yeah
S. Clause
Big Santa
North Pole Gang
You know what I'm talking about
Shout out my elves
Fuck the South Pole, fuck the opps
Shout out Mrs. Clause, you get me?
Assemble all year
'Tis the season to be drilly (I-I-I-I-I love Chris Rich)
You get me?
Big Santa, yo, listen
[Verse]
S. Clause, yeah I came from the north with the pole
You don't wanna see me lurk 'round south with a shank and a sock full of coal
Yeah, I move packs for the doe
You can't say Sants ain't on the road
Slide down an opp boy's chimney
Slap that corn and then reload
Look, I don't mean decorations when I say that I light up trees
South Pole bally on me
Mistletoe, I got gyallie on me
Do man like cookies
You get dipped right under the tree
Secure that pack then wrap that up
With the elves, that's my YGs
Ding dong ped, Ding dong sled
Opp get spots, leave man dead
Splash man down, snow turn red
Then back home Mrs. Clause give neck
Late-night lurking, S Clause, yeah I do those roads
Rambo cut up an opp boy's face till it looks like Rudolph's nose
Ten toes lurking, Mrs. Clause got ten hoes twerking
O.T. got bare elves working
S. Clause in a sled just swerving
In my size ten boots, ten toes or thirty-six hooves
Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen shoot
Look, 'cause my gang rude
If you see Rudolph then move
See the red light then panic
Opps start dashing, dancing, prancing too
'Cause we send those packs, and they send cash back to the sender
Only time that I go O.T. is the 24th of December
G-g-get splashed and dipped, R.I.P. Saint Nick
I don't trust them kids
End up on a naughty list
They end up on an awkward ting
I lurk on the opps and ching
Sixth day of Christmas
My true love put six in a .44 spin
On my wish list this year
I wish that the opps turn pack
When a ting go ho ho ho
No gift, you know that's a wrap
I put box in sack, 'cause I got white and brown
Opps better watch out when S. Clause coming to town
S. Clause is gunning you down
On my list, I ain't checking it twice
'Cause an opp is an opp, you still get popped
I don't care naughty or nice
'Cause I see opps when they're sleeping
And I see them when they're awake
You don't wanna see S. Clause on a lurk with a twelve-inch cane, look
[Outro]
S. Clause
Christmas drillings, you get me?
You're off the naughty list, know what I mean?
Kids need to behave this year
You get drilled, you get bombed, you get me?
S. Clause out here, 'till next year
[Part II: Kenny Elfstar]
[Intro]
It's Kenny Elfstar
Voice of the sleigh, voice of the streets
North Pole, South Pole, O.T, Bognor Regis
We're gonna take it there man (I-I-I-I-I love Chris Rich)
[Verse]
Yeah, kick down doors
Jingle bells you mug, du du du bow!
It's big man Clause
My elves be on the maddest crud
You thought those gifts were yours?
Think again, jump off the sled with a skeng
I got this pole from north, but the bells done came from Penge
We're in your ends
This cane came way too long, so what we do?
Gotta chop it and half it
Had to splash man down in a Maybach sled
Got blood on the sheepskin carpet
You don't wanna see three hundred elves on your block
Straight looking like 300 Spartans
Invite my opps to the block for a roast
'Cause you know my gang do carving
My elf said, "Let someone else go wrap that gift, why always you?"
'Cause I wait all year to attack that list full of Pagan, naughty youths
I got the golden Santa boot
Get man down in my Jordan 2's
My North Pole phone EE, but my South Pole phone '02
Free all the elves in pen
I got a stocking filled up with tuna
And the way this pack came chunky
You would've thought my sack had a tumor
Way back, didn't have a reindeer
I had to chase opps down in Ubers
Shooters, we don't play games, we're the gunners
Dressed in red and white like the Gooners
And you know that the coke ain't diet
And you know that the Caine ain't candy
Gang done dropped off so many grams this year
Man I should've won a Grammy
I don't beef with them man, just dead it
Get man down like Reddit
Wrap the brick and then sell it
Mrs. Clause bend your back and then sled it
I trap out the Regis like 6-7, shout out LD and Monkey
Had one fiend that was so obese
Man, I called her a Kit-Kat Chunky
If you run off with that pack
Then man go nuts like Snickers
Caramel one like Mars
Don't be a teaser, take off your knickers
The batch was way too milky
Two sticks in the ride like Twix
In a Ford Galaxy with the heaters
But the feds came, and the gang got nicked
They put a bounty on my head
I dare a man try come take it
Lawyer came, buss that A.M
Beat that case, had a celebration
[Outro]
Beat that case, had a celebration
Joy to the world, my opp gun bun (I-I-I-I-I love Chris Rich)
(Brrat!)
