[Intro]
Penny for your thoughts
I'm trying to make a million
Tell me why the suspects want to play the victim
How can I enjoy life if I ain't really living?
How can I enjoy life if I ain't really even living?
[Hook]
If I ain't really living
If I ain't really living
How can I enjoy life if I ain't really living?
(x3)
If I ain't really living
If I ain't really living
How can I enjoy life if I ain't really even living?
[Verse 1]
Spent all my life points and I made them back
A heartbreak leads to a heart attack
I promised my team that I'd never lack
And so I dove into the deep end
(I'm) just trying to make it back
Back in the day, they used to laugh at me
Now I'm making plays, haters really can't stand me
I just want to see my Mom and Dad happy
Staying in my lane, not worried about who pass me
I decided that I'm really about it -
Got home and I put my phone (up) in flight mode, in my zone in my room alone in the studio
Feel alive every time I rhyme, trying to catch the vibe
[Bridge]
(I'm just trying to free my mind...
I'm just trying to feel alive
I'm just trying to free my mind...)
[Drop 1]
Riding in the back
Looking back on my past? I'm not doing that
Because I can't turn back
Wearing slacks, but I'll never slack
Got the stacks, push it to the max
Only counting racks
(Because I got...)
Racks, on racks, on racks
I cannot relax
Got the pressure on my back
Back, to back, to back
About to reach my max
I cannot control
Where I might end up?
Swear nobody knows
[Drop 2]
Damn Travis, [you] really at it now
You used to be stage-fright now you smashing crowds
Used to be afraid of the night
You flashing now -
At the moon and at the sky
Up above the clouds
You really balling now
You amazing, been to places that I swear I can't even pronounce
I swear that you making me proud
Haters in my face?
I cannot allow
Calculate the plays I made?
I cannot keep count
Thinking back on my fake friends
Strongest relationships seem to take the longest to end
Fake friends get replaced by followers
I Had enough, so I replaced her with a swallower
And now I'm balling now
I swear I'm off it now
I put my phone on flight-mode
Because she still calling now
I was picked on, Now I'm picked up
And I'm picked down
You was my friend, and you switched up...
So what now?
[Drop 3]
Everything in this world changes but a tattoo
Crazy when what I want to say to you is taboo
I want to make a change, but they won't listen
Funny how the suspects always want to play the victim
Remember first time I got caught with a little thot
Tried to lie to cover up [and] say "We was just kissing"
Always been too grown for my own age
Sorry to the shawties that I left with their virginities missing
I tried to make 'em happy
But they mad at me
Took a look up in the mirror, my reflection won't stare back at me
Asked questions to the second hand of the clock
To no response because all it said was
"Tik tok"
Started rapping when I was young
Now I can't stop
Balls dropped first time I heard the bass drop
Put me on trial, because I've been killing beats
Put a verse in a hearse, now the case dropped
(Ay)
[Outro]
Started from the bottom, aiming for the top
You left the gate open now I got it on lock
A bullet took a life
So should i take the shot?
Started being who I am
Forgot about what I'm not
Shake my fist
As I look up
[And] Ask to the sky
"Death is a tragedy, what does it mean to die?"
Can you really lose your life...
If you were never even alive?
