[ALICE]
When you look into the mirror, I’m sure you’re distressed
Your book borrowed my look, you’re even wearing my dress
I been rocking this game since before you were born
This corny copy’s lost because she ain’t in Kansas anymore
I'm surprised your garbage squad hasn't fallen apart
Yellow bellied, empty-headed, that one’s got no heart
Double killers, caterpillars and a mad man in my crew
Put you on blast, I gotta ask: Who are you?
[DOROTHY]
Well, I’m Dorothy Gale, and you’re on my street
Not a good witch, I’m a bad bitch
Ruby kicks on my feet
Quirky stupid chicks and nobody can stand ‘em
You’re that annoying girl shouting: "LOL I’m so random!"
I got sense and sensibility like my girl Jane Austen
Wreckin’ your tea party like they did back in Boston
Word to your moms, I’m dropping L. Frank Bombs
Got more bars than Wonka more composed than Brahms
Better say your prayers
[TEAM OZ]
We’re your worst nightmares
[DOROTHY]
Keep dreaming, you’ll be screaming
Lions, tigers, and bears
[SCARECROW]
Oh my!
[DOROTHY]
I’ve come to free the land from an olive hand
A beginning middle end that even kids can understand
In your sadness you wallow, talkin’ rabbits you follow
Put a bottle near your mouth, you’re not thinkin’, you swallow
I didn’t make the mold but I’m the one who broke it
I’m the better heroine, stick that in your pipe and smoke it
[ALICE]
No place like home? You’re from a podunk prairie
Ease on down the road
Cause shiz is gonna get scary
What’s your battle plan? I don’t think you understand
A coward, dolt and bag of bolts can’t step to Wonderland
Don't make me light up your friend cause he’s met his match
A stitched together strawman that stinks like bandersnatch
You’re washed up and washed out, you’re fading, and thus
Click your heels together baby and bugger off to Kansas
[SCARECROW]
Who needs brains when you have this much swagger?
I don’t even gotta think and I got moves like Jagger
I’m outstanding in my field while you have mental lapses
Teaching crows how to murder with my lack of synapses
Noggin stuffed with knowledge, stitching rhymes so raw
Throwing shade at Oz? Hay, that’s the last straw
Let’s have a heart to heart, you tart stealing tart
Alice, you’re so stupid, you make me look smart
[TIN MAN]
Gimme that oil can so I can get loose
I’m relaxing while I’m axing through your crew like a spruce
I’m a ten out of tin, the heavy metal playa hater
I’m heartless and relentless like the fucking Terminator
Got more joints than Snoop, sippin’ mock turtle soup
Hell, I’m just blowing off steam like a chimney (Toot Toot)
I ain’t scared of shit cause I’m bulletproof
Throw your hands in the air and raise this hot tin roof
[LION]
Let me at ‘em, I’ll tear ‘em limb from limb
Smack a hat off the whack job, make a snack of Tweedledim
You fellas are all yella, you ain’t got what I got
With a paw behind my back, I’ll tie you all up in a knot
Outrageous and courageous, that’s kinda my thing
Bow down to the crown, It’s good to be the king
Scurry home with your friends, Miss Little Bo Peep
A lion doesn’t pay attention to the opinions of sheep
[TWEEDLES]
You wanna step to this duo? Cause we’re ready to battle
Dee and Dum are down to frickin’ spank your ass like a paddle
Beg and plead on your knees to the double trouble emcees
And if you don’t like it, you can tweedle-deez
These tale-telling twins are stopping, dropping, and rocking you
Choppin’ and mockin’ snicker snakt jabberwocking you
Talk smack in our world, it’s off with your head
We go hard, pull your card and paint your chest red
[MAD HATTER]
Today is my unbirthday and it’s not cause I hate ya
Serving dishes and dissin’ ya cause I’m nutty by nature
My writing desk riddle, can you tackle it quick?
It makes no sense to rap against a ‘raven’ lunatic
She’d be a Tea Party crasher? This bastard haberdasher
Came to trash and slash and bash and put her pussy out to pasture
I’m a dastardly villain like a riddling Dillinger
Top billing in shillings, this milliner’s killing her
I keep my mug mean, I keep my cups clean
I’m the baddest maddest hatter that the world has ever seen
Look at your face. You're so troubled, my dear!
Of course our raps make you angry, we're all mad here
[DOROTHY]
Your sloppy story structure simply can’t be excused
Just like the audience you spent your whole movie confused
Our adventure had a point, we found the man behind the curtain
I would ruin your whole world but that's been done by Tim Burton
I’m slammin’ other damsels while I’m spittin’ so speedily
Running rampant on these cowards that are dumber than Tweedledee
We’re ferocious fierce and feisty, you’re a sleepy little mouse
Watch me smash and flatten bitches when I bring down the house
[ALICE]
Oh, my story’s nonsense? Yeah whatever, witch please
You’ve got funky flying monkeys and apple-throwing trees
This home wrecker in checkers hits her head then it stops
Suddenly a bunch of runts start singing about lollipops
You’re as stupid as the scarecrow with only half of his charm
This fool forgot these are the dudes that freakin’ lived on her farm
You’re stressin’ cause you’re messing with a verbal giant sweetie
Ya want to pick on someone my size? Eat me!
