[ROB]
Why can't I be like the Boss?
'Cause being like me is no fun
Why was I doomed to be left?
Why wasn't I born to run?
Why can't I let loose of this heavy load
Of rage and of pain?
Why can't I be from Thunder Road
And not from Pudding Hill Lane?
With my girl on stage there smiling across
Even for one night
Why can't I be like the Boss?
Woah
Woah, woah, woah, woah
Why can't I be like the Boss?
Woah
Woah, woah, woah, woah
Why can't I be like the—
[BRUCE, spoken]
Why can't you, Rob?
[ROB, spoken]
What?
[BRUCE, spoken]
Why can't you, y'know, be like me?
[ROB, spoken]
Boss?
[BRUCE, spoken]
Please, call me Mr. Springsteen
You know, with your top five break-ups
Why don't you get in touch with 'em?
[ROB, spoken]
Uh, why would I?
[BRUCE, spoken]
Well, it's, it's like in "Bobby Jean..."
[ROB, spoken]
Oh, where you call the girl up, but she's left town
And you're pissed off you didn't know about it?
[BRUCE, spoken]
Right!
'Cause I wanted to say goodbye
And that I missed her
And I wish her good luck
It's closure, man
And it's the same with your Top Five!
[BRUCE]
Why don't you call them like the ghosts
That roam the main street of the steel town
Where the plant's been closed
Since Veteran's Day?
[ROB, spoken]
What plant?
[BRUCE]
You're a lost soul drowning
In the memories that haunt you
All those pretty bare feet runnin' into the night
See them runnin' away
[ROB, spoken]
But what would I say?
[BRUCE]
Just tell 'em how you are
And ask 'em how they are
Then look into their eyes
And talk without makin' a sound
Then you can forgive them for messin' around
And they can forgive you for messin' around
Yeah, you can forgive them for messin' around
And they can forgive you for messin' around
Think how good you'll be feelin' then
Shinin' like the chrome on your bike
All revved up and ready to start again
Laughin' as you're thinkin' back to when
Love was somethin' you didn't like
So bottled up with pain you might explode
So if you want to be lifted of your heavy load
Say goodbye and good luck to your top five break-ups
And move on down the road
[ROB, spoken]
Say what?
[BRUCE]
Say goodbye and good luck to your top five break-ups
And move on down the road
[ROB]
Alison who ditched me
After three days in the park
[BRUCE, spoken]
Call her!
[ROB]
Penny who wouldn't let me feel her up
Then had sex with that bastard Clark
[BRUCE, spoken]
Woo, cold!
[ROB]
Charlie who was too much for my heart to defend
[BRUCE, spoken]
That's right!
[ROB]
Sarah who was safe, but then turned gay in the end
[BRUCE, spoken]
C'mon!
[ROB & BRUCE]
Laura who made me/you
The mess that I am/you are today!
[BRUCE, spoken]
One, two, three!
[BRUCE]
Goodbye and good luck to your top five break-ups
And move on down the road!
[Four cell phones ring.]
[ALISON, spoken]
Hello?
[PENNY, spoken]
Hey-hey-hey
[CHARLIE, spoken]
Pronto
[SARAH, spoken]
Yo
[ROB]
Well, hey there, I just called to say hello
And wish you well and that I cherish those times we shared
Despite what you did
[ALISON, spoken]
Who is this?
[ROB]
Though you wouldn't even let me
Touch your breast
Then gave it up for Clark
Let's put the past to rest
Hey, you were only a kid
[PENNY, spoken]
How'd you get this number?
[ROB]
Sure, I was naive then
My-heart-on-my-sleeve then
And I never quite got my feet
Back on the ground
[CHARLIE, spoken]
That's my call-waiting
[SARAH, spoken]
I'm a dyke!
[ROB]
But, girl, I forgive you for messin' around
And I hope you forgive me for messin' around
Just know I forgive you for messin' around
And I pray you forgive me for messin' around
Now I'm feeling clean and new and fresh
Shining like the chrome on my bike
[BRUCE, spoken]
Schwinn!
[ROB]
All revved up and ready to start again
[BRUCE]
Yeah, you're laughin' as you're thinkin' back to when
Love was somethin' you didn't like
[ROB]
I put an end to that old episode
[ROB & BRUCE]
And if you want to be lifted of your heavy load
Say goodbye and good luck to my/your top five break-ups
And move on down the road
Say goodbye and good luck to my/your top five break-ups
[BRUCE]
Ciao and adios to your top five break-ups
[ROB & BRUCE]
So long and sayonara
To that old pain and sorrow
[ROB]
I'm movin' on down
[BRUCE]
You won't stick around
[ROB]
Yeah, I'm movin' on down—
[ROB & BRUCE]
The road!
