[Intro, spoken word]
In many role-playing games a critical hit is a chance that a successful attack will deal more damage than a normal blow. When you make an attack roll and get a natural 20, you hit regardless of your target’s Armor class and you have scored a threat
[Hook]
Y’all can hate and debate over who is number one
Just let me know when you’re done, I’m here to have fun
Bringin’ puns and diabolical phrases
Faded, and people straight payin’ me praises
I stay mellow, lead belly never yellow
Slow-mo flow like a bow on a cello
Body like bowl full of jello
Mind kinda like Einstein combined with Longfellow
X2
[Verse 1]
This is it, y’all are witnessing a critical hit
I stay lit, I’m laceratin’ ‘em lickety split
You’ve entered into a satirical battle of wits
The lyrical serial killer, I’m as real as it gets, that’s a base hit
I’m practicing persistence
Consistency means more than distance
Insistently dismiss assistance
Resist the path of least resistance
Gee whillikers, goodness gracious
I would stay, but I gotta stay tenacious
You could say I’m a little ostentatious
At the very least way too loquacious
So let’s make way for the next gateway
Or as I prefer to call it the digital getaway
I tip scales and I’m doin’ it the nerd weigh
Came for the concept, stayed for the wordplay
[Hook]
Y’all can hate and debate over who is number one
Just let me know when you’re done, I’m here to have fun
Bringin’ puns and diabolical phrases
Faded, and people straight payin’ me praises
I stay mellow, lead belly never yellow
Slow-mo flow like a bow on a cello
Body like bowl full of jello
Mind kinda like Einstein combined with Longfellow
[Verse 2]
I’m bringin’ the power to the Nth degree
And I ain’t gonna be stoppin’ til I got my name up on the marquee
Floatin’ like a butterfly, I sting like a bee
Man I guess I’m like the fat, white, rap version of Ali
So call me, I got objective analysis
When I spit I’m so talented, I give people paralysis
And I’ve been writin’ until my hands are covered in calluses
And all the members on my team can raise their chalices
As the malice hits you think you been hit in the throat
I’m dope, my jaws so big you gonna need a bigger boat
My flow’s so cold, you finna need a winter coat
Landslide homie, we ain’t even gotta take a vote
The verdict is in and the vote is unanimous
I’m a fan of this legislation to legalize cannabis
I told you I would hustle at any cost
And just because I’m wanderin’ doesn’t necessarily mean I’m lost
[Hook]
Y’all can hate and debate over who is number one
Just let me know when you’re done, I’m here to have fun
Bringin’ puns and diabolical phrases
Faded, and people straight payin’ me praises
I stay mellow, lead belly never yellow
Slow-mo flow like a bow on a cello
Body like bowl full of jello
Mind kinda like Einstein combined with Longfellow
[Verse 3]
You better be ready to watch me turn it up a notch
Lyricism is smoother than a bottle of some top shelf scotch
I’m a fusion of Kakarot and Sasquatch
I got lines that’ll stop time like a stopwatch
Drop rhymes that are designed to bind us
Tryin’ to redesign my mind and find kindness
We’re all hopin’ someone can define us
And all of us are lookin’ for somebody to co-sign us
Tryin’ to combine the finest of the unsigned
So we can change headlines with our punchlines
Crunch time better buckle up
Three ninjas in this piece, it’s time to kick back and knuckle up
Double up on the rhythm, triple up on the gear
Quadruple up on the beat, homie, that’s why I’m here
It’s just life, I ain’t trippin’ on it
Best believe I got me a cup of tea, I been sippin’ on it
[Hook]
Y’all can hate and debate over who is number one
Just let me know when you’re done, I’m here to have fun
Bringin’ puns and diabolical phrases
Faded, and people straight payin’ me praises
I stay mellow, lead belly never yellow
Slow-mo flow like a bow on a cello
Body like bowl full of jello
Mind kinda like Einstein combined with Longfellow
X2
[Hook, cont.]
Donatello, Van Gogh and Da Vinci
I don’t even know if I’m awake, bro, pinch me
Y’all can hate and debate over who is number one
The best thing about me is I’m the only one
X2
[Outro, spoken word]
A critical hit means that you roll your damage more than once with all your usual bonuses and add the rolls together. Unless otherwise specified, the threat range for a critical hit on an attack roll is 20, and the multiplier is times two
