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Rape Lyrics by Anthony Jeselnik

Caligula

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I know right? Thank you guys. So great to be here in Chicago. I love this city. I actually went on a date with a girl from Chicago once, this was like ten years ago before I was even a comedian yet. Back then I was just a regular old piece of shit like you guys. But I'll never forget this date, we met up at this bar, we started laughing together, we started connecting, it was great. But then we leave the bar and go back to her place, and as soon as we walk in her front door, she pauses out cold on her front counch. Now, I went to college and I knew I had a million options. But I’m a gentleman, so I did the smart thing. I just got a blanket, tucked her in and left her a note that said you got raped. Thank you. I feel like it’s very important to open up my show with a rape joke. Just to see what kind of crowd i’m dealing with here, you guys are going to be great, but if you were upset or you were offended in any way, i’ve only got two more rape jokes. And I wait about 15 minutes
Credits
Anthony Jeselnik

Anthony Jeselnik

About “Rape” by Anthony Jeselnik

Read the complete lyrics to "Rape" by Anthony Jeselnik from the album "Caligula". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Rape" is performed by Anthony Jeselnik. from the album "Caligula" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Rape", explore more songs by Anthony Jeselnik using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Rape" is credited to Anthony Jeselnik. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Rape" appears on "Caligula".

Visit the Anthony Jeselnik artist page at /artist/anthony-jeselnik for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.