So a guy walks into a bar
Remember the Unknown Comic?
The Gong Show?
Of course you do
As the Winter months approach
I began to resemble more and more a mannequin in complexion
As do most of us
-
I seem to be smiling though
Look what we got here
We got a little duck
We got a little duck, little duck
Come on out
Look what we got here
Look what we got here, look what we got here
Look at him, that’s a cat that’s having fun!
Look at him
Look at that guy, that’s a cat that’s having fun!
[crinkling]
-
That’s kinda strange
That’s kinda strange
That’s kinda cat
That’s kinda strange
And they’ll just roll around and sort of- sort of wrestle with the bag
-with the bag, -with the bag, -with the bag, -with the bag
[crinkling]
-
Let’s wind it up just a little bit more
[crinkling]
(cats, cats, cats, cats...)
[Commercial 1]
What makes you smile?
Every day at McDonald's we're serving up a variety of great tastes at breakfast
Whether you like scrambled eggs with pancakes
Egg McMuffins, Sausage Biscuits with Egg, or our delicious Bagel Sandwiches
We've got something hot, fresh, and made to order just for you
And remember, no breakfast is complete without coffee and the cool, fresh-squeezed taste of Minute Maid Orange Juice
Start off your day, everyday, with breakfast variety at McDonald's
We love to see you smile!
Destined to be a classic
Destined to be a classic
Destined to be a dog
A dog, a dog, a dog
Dogs and cats living together
Whoopsie-daisy, whoopsie-daisy
Cats and Dogs living together
Daisy-whoop, daisy-whoop, daisy-whoop, daisy-whoop
(crinkling)
[Commercial 2]
And just really experience a singular cat thrill
If I were a cat I would be loving this
Because cats love that sound
Because cats love that sound
That sound of dogs being knocked over, knocked over
[Commercial 3 (in background)]
Your contact lenses just arrived
1-800-Contacts? They can't have my brand
I have special eyes
Look, look with your special eyes
My brand!
Quality contact lenses
Call, click, and now at Walmart
(loops)
A part of cat culture, culture, culture
If you’re a cat you’re entertained by things that-
Things that, things that normally wouldn’t appeal to humans
Look at that dog, look at that dog
That dog can crawl into a big crinkly bag just for the fun of it
What’s he chewing on?
[Commercial 4 (in background)]
Airheads - now bite sized
You can pop like this, or you can pop like that
You can play like this, or you can play like that
You can share like this, or you can share like that
We eat Airheads Bites, 'cuz bites are where it's at
Airheads Bites - Play Delicious
(loops)
“Hi, how are ya?”
By discussing a throwback to...
Was this the 60s or the 70s?
When were Lava Lamps hot, Jeff?
[Commercial 5 (in background)]
*sigh* Time for Wrigley's Spearmint Gum
Wrigley's Spearmint? What is Wrigley's Spearmint?
Well, it's pure chewing satisfaction
Data, please
Cool and refreshing
Chewing enjoyment goes on and on
Analysis?
Wrigley's Spearmint IS pure chewing satisfaction
Yeah, so how come you never talked to me before?
Wrigley's Spearmint is pure chewing satisfaction
(loops)
The lamp is a little warm
Not unlike lava
The lamp is a little lava
That’s kinda strange
[Commercial 6 (in background)]
Hey, you seein' this?
Hey, where's the dish?
There ain't one
You're telling me you can get DIRECTV
The good stuff, and you don't need a satellite dish?
Oh, I used to love doing my business on those things
You're one sick pigeon, those dishes kept the rain off our beaks
We just have different priorities, is all
Satellite-free DIRECTV, never thought I'd see the day
Well, our life-spans are quite short
Stream DIRECTV without a satellite dish
I'm just going to do this thing with my neck, just for a bit
(loops)
Fuse all your fingers together
As the early inhabitants of Pompeii would no doubt tell you
Remember Pompeii?
Well, what do you expect?
What do you expect?
Well, what do you expect?
What do you expect?
Well, what do you expect?
What do you expect?
Well, what do you expect?
It’s just neato
[Commercial 7 (in background)]
Our experts have found amazing deals in places like New York, Orlando, San Fransisco, and more
So log on or call now
Hotels.com - We know hotels inside and out
(loops)
I wanted something in a golden mane
And you gave me this silly orange mess!
I wanted a golden dog
And you gave me this silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly
[Chaos]
$99 $99 $99 $99 $99 $99 $99 $99
$99 $99 $99 $99 $99 $99
Is that Booker?
$99 $99 $99 $99
There’s the crinkling sound once again. Lest you forget
$99 $99 $99
(weird noise)
$99 $99
I think we’re talking about a pretty well satisfied rodent
$99
Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever
What is- What is happening?
Well, I tell you what, this is some of the most gripping video we’ve ever had the opportunity to bring you folks at home
Let’s wind it up just a little bit more
(TV hum)
(Start of "Family Ties" Intro)
