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He Eats Asparagus, Why Can’t You Be That Way? Lyrics by Barry Louis Polisar

Family Trip

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Whenever I am naughty, whenever I am bad
Whenever I do something that makes my parents mad
Like the time I bit the mailman or left stuff on the floor
My parent's say, "Why can't you be like the boy who lives next door?"
He always makes his bed and he always eats his food
He likes his itty, bitty sister and he's never ever rude
And when I don't eat what's on my plate, my parents both will say
"He Eats Asparagus, why can't you be that way?"
He is never dirty, he always takes a bath
He loves to do his homework too, especially math
At school he is an angel, he always sits up straight
He's always very helpul and he never comes in late
He always says, "I'm sorry," "Excuse me," "Thank you," "Please,"
He always dresses nicely, not like me
He's never spilt his milk, lost a glove or slammed a door
Stuck out his tongue or giggled in school or left things on the floor
He goes to bed at nine each night and brushes all his teeth
And Mommy wishes I was him and that he was me
I've never even seen him burp, he does what he is told
But the boy next door is thirty four years old
Credits
Barry Louis Polisar

Barry Louis Polisar

About “He Eats Asparagus, Why Can’t You Be That Way?” by Barry Louis Polisar

Read the complete lyrics to "He Eats Asparagus, Why Can’t You Be That Way?" by Barry Louis Polisar from the album "Family Trip". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"He Eats Asparagus, Why Can’t You Be That Way?" is performed by Barry Louis Polisar. from the album "Family Trip" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "He Eats Asparagus, Why Can’t You Be That Way?", explore more songs by Barry Louis Polisar using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"He Eats Asparagus, Why Can’t You Be That Way?" is credited to Barry Louis Polisar. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"He Eats Asparagus, Why Can’t You Be That Way?" appears on "Family Trip".

Visit the Barry Louis Polisar artist page at /artist/barry-louis-polisar for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.