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One Man Band Lyrics by Bernard Cribbins

The Very Best of Bernard Cribbins

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[Verse 1]
Oh, he was playin' his cornet
And he was playin’ it strong
Makin' a noise like an angry hornet
Must have been deaf
Or he never could have borne it
Kept blowin' his cornet
And a-bangin’ his gong
And in-between, if you follow what I mean
While happily swingin' along
[Verse 2]
Oh, he was playin' his cymbal
Tied on top of his head
Fixed to an hat like a great big dimple
Could have got hurt if he hadn't been so nimble
Kept bashin' his cymbal
Fit to waken the dead
And in-between, if you follow what I mean
While hittin' himself on the head
[Verse 3]
Playin' his squeezebox
Between his two knees
Oh, what a place to
Be feelin' thе breeze
And, if you please
Hе was blowin’ his trumpet
And he was bangin’ his drum
Tied to his back where his arm could thump it
And when he missed
Well, he simply had to lump it
Gave out with his trumpet
The sort of tune you can hum
And in-between, if you follow what I mean
While knockin' his vertebrae numb
[Verse 4]
Scrapin’ his fiddle
Wot hung 'round his chest
He must have got rosin
All over his vest
But, what was best
He had got a triangle
Very much to the fore
A bit of bent wire
At a sharp right angle
Over his ear
Oh, where the thing dangle
Whoa, what a tangle
When he gave his encore
For in-between, if you follow what I mean
When some bloke shouted out "More!"
This one-man band
Gave himself a big hand
And fell with a crash to the floor
[yelling]
[Outro (spoken)]
It weren't half a mess
Took the whole London Philharmonic to pick him up
[singing softly]
Credits
Bernard Cribbins

Bernard Cribbins

About “One Man Band” by Bernard Cribbins

Read the complete lyrics to "One Man Band" by Bernard Cribbins from the album " The Very Best of Bernard Cribbins". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Britpop, Comedy, UK.

"One Man Band" is performed by Bernard Cribbins. from the album " The Very Best of Bernard Cribbins" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "One Man Band", explore more songs by Bernard Cribbins using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"One Man Band" is credited to Bernard Cribbins. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"One Man Band" appears on " The Very Best of Bernard Cribbins".

Visit the Bernard Cribbins artist page at /artist/bernard-cribbins for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.