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I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks Lyrics by Bloodhound Gang

Playlist Your Way

1996

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant, I'll have the Poo Poo Platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get
[Chorus]
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as a gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a supermodel would be easy
Cause supermodel means voluptuous but also is synonymous with superdumb
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't take a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get
[Chorus]
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not too keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like thith
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant-garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get
[Chorus]
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Credits
Bloodhound Gang

Bloodhound Gang

About “I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks” by Bloodhound Gang

Read the complete lyrics to "I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks" by Bloodhound Gang from the album "Playlist Your Way" in 1996. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Rock.

"I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks" is performed by Bloodhound Gang. from the album "Playlist Your Way" in 1996 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks", explore more songs by Bloodhound Gang using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks" is credited to Bloodhound Gang. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks" appears on "Playlist Your Way" in 1996.

Visit the Bloodhound Gang artist page at /artist/bloodhound-gang for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.