Lyrks
Lyrks
Lyrks
Cover Art

On The App Lyrics by Buchan & Barne

Two Strangers (Carry a Cake Across New York) [Original London Cast Recording]

0

[Dougal & Robin (Both)]
Jake
No, he's fake
Shame
Vincent
Boring
Duncan
Same
Rick the dick machine
What's wrong with Rick the dick machine?
I don't think Rick the dick machine is actually his name
Cedric
No
Rohit
No
Cho Cho
No
Aw, Cedric
Again?
Chuck
No
Drake
No
Chet
No
Brad
No
Rod
No
Joe
No
Look at these magnificently underwhelming men
You have no idea
He shaves his chest
He loves his booze
His beard
His shoes
His vibe
His views
He lives in queens
He rips his jeans
That's way too many neck tattoos
He says he's my soulmate
I'm thinking... he isn't?
He's dressed like a wizard
He's holding a lizard
And not to be judgemental but he's currently in prison
Attention seeking narcists who seem to think they're geniuses
And though you never ask, insist on showing you their penises
Insatiable Lotharios
Fellatial scenarios
And overbearing, oversharing, eerie weary Casanovas
Please Jesus on high
Don't let her die alone
There must be a decent, available guy somewhere inside this phone
What about Cody?
Cody?
Cody could be fun
He's terrible at spelling and he seems to have a gun
He's Scorpio
Scorpio is dangerous
So what? He's fascinating
Absolutely not
What about Zachary?
Zachary?
Zachery's OK
Zachary is married with a baby on the way
How did you...
He's lying and his name is really Joe
Yeah, but how did you...
Don't ask me how I know
Help God if you can (Help this poor girl)
No need to be so mean (No need to be so mean)
There must be a vaguely acceptable man, trapped in this tiny machine (Oh, tiny machine)
What about Rudy?
Careful, Rudy is a shock
Well, you must admit that Rudy has a photogenic...
Stop
Admittedly it's...
No
You can really see the...
Hey
It's beautiful
Just take that thing away
What about Justin?
Justin, sweet Justin, he loves his dog
He's gorgeous, he swiped me too
Ugh, who am I kidding? He's out of my league
Don't say that
Sure he's big and handsome, but so are you
Although, you did message him at 3am to ask if his dog is single
I know, stupid drunk Robin
Please Jesus on high (Trust me, it's fine)
Just give me back my phone (Everything's under control)
There must be a halfly acceptable man (There must a slightly less horrible man)
There must be a clean and convenient man (He must be here somewhere)
There must be a decent available guy
Somewhere in New York
Credits
Buchan & Barne

Buchan & Barne

About “On The App” by Buchan & Barne

Read the complete lyrics to "On The App" by Buchan & Barne from the album "Two Strangers (Carry a Cake Across New York) [Original London Cast Recording]". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"On The App" is performed by Buchan & Barne. from the album "Two Strangers (Carry a Cake Across New York) [Original London Cast Recording]" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "On The App", explore more songs by Buchan & Barne using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Buchan & Barne · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"On The App" is credited to Buchan & Barne. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"On The App" appears on "Two Strangers (Carry a Cake Across New York) [Original London Cast Recording]".

Visit the Buchan & Barne artist page at /artist/buchan-and-barne for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.