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Attractive Stupid People Lyrics by Christine Lavin

Cold Pizza for Breakfast

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Attractive stupid people
Appear to glide through life
Watch an attractive stupid man
Attract and land a stupid wife
But the problem is the kids
Won't look as good as mom or dad
And they're always slightly smarter
Which drives their pretty parents mad
Attractive stupid people think
Talent got them where they are
Sometimes it's not too good
When your good looks take you too far
To places you're not smart enough
To know you don't belong
This is the story of Franklin Pierce
This won't be a happy song ...
Franklin Pierce was born in New Hampshire
In 1804
57 years before
The start of our Civil War
Behind his back they called him "doughface"
A nickname for a Northern man
Who had Southern leanings
Slavery?
He was a fan
He became our 14th president
In 1852
He had no real credentials
But his looks sure pulled him through
He's considered the most handsome man
Who's ever held the job
He was the first -- but not the last
Democratic presidential heart-throb
Historians tell us
He was an inoffensive bloke
His lack of backbone makes him
Today look like a joke
With the Ostend Manifesto
He tried to steal Cuba from Spain
He wanted to make it a slave state...
But cooler heads derailed that train
He was much in favor
Of the Kansas-Nebraska Act
Which also was pro-slavery
Set our progress back
In 1856
He did not get a second chance
Democrats nominated James Buchanan
To take them to the dance
Though he was born in New Hampshire
He rooted for the South
And more than once poor Franklin Pierce
Put his foot in his mouth
That is when he wasn't drinking
And he was drinking day and night
His wife was a religious nut
Who knew how to pick a fight
Franklin!
He died of cirrhosis of the liver
In 1869
But with his bone structure
Even sick he looked so fine
And for years he's held the title:
The worst president we ever had
His reign now might be ruined
All because of a hanging chad
Attractive stupid women
Attractive stupid men
Have led the world astray
Again and again and again
As we march into the future
The thought that calms my fears
There's an attractive man and woman
In the White House
Who've got brains between their ears
Credits
Christine Lavin

Christine Lavin

About “Attractive Stupid People” by Christine Lavin

Read the complete lyrics to "Attractive Stupid People" by Christine Lavin from the album "Cold Pizza for Breakfast". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Attractive Stupid People" is performed by Christine Lavin. from the album "Cold Pizza for Breakfast" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Attractive Stupid People", explore more songs by Christine Lavin using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Attractive Stupid People" is credited to Christine Lavin. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Attractive Stupid People" appears on "Cold Pizza for Breakfast".

Visit the Christine Lavin artist page at /artist/christine-lavin for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.