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First Redneck on the Internet Lyrics by Cledus T. Judd

Did I Shave My Back For This?

1998

Well, Lordy, mercy, I's in a mess
My wife run off with my TV set
Didn't bother me none that she had to go
'Cept I's gonna miss all my TV shows
So I looked up to heaven, got down on my knees
An' I cried: "Dear Lord, will you help me, please."
"I need a TV by tomorrow night
"'Cos Rick Flare's involved in a talent fight."
Well I guess my tytheing finally paid off
'Cos early next mornin' shoulda seen what I saw
Reached in my overhorse for my inhaler
'Cos there's a big brown box there, right in my trailer
I used my truck keys, cut open the box
I was hopin' for a Sony or a Microbox
I looked at the name and thought: "Oh my gosh!
"This must be a new one called Macintosh."
Well my last TV was a whole lot wider
But this'n here come with its own typewriter
It had all the letters from A to Z
I guess you just type in what you wanna see
Well I thought I punched up: "WWF,"
But the TV Screen said World Wide Web
Then I broke out in a cold, cold sweat:
I's the first redneck on the internet
He was the first red neck on the internet
A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat
He went on line just one time
And now they won't forget
The first redneck on the internet
It was all so new, I shoulda taken my time
But I slammed that mouse up in four-wheel drive
Last time I did so much pointin' and clickin'
I had a .22 rifle shootin' at chickens
Then, all of a sudden it occurred to me
The power I had with this fancy TV
I could get back at my ex-wife
With the touch of a button, I could ruin her life
So I got the number off her Mastercard
I bought a new lift kit and four new tyres
Then, I got on line to her bank account
Went ahead and closed that sucker out
I had her power and her water shut, slap, off
The I sent an e-mail to her dead plain boss
Lettin' him know that she told me
She'd have his job by the end of the week
He was the first red neck on the internet
A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat
He went on line just one time
And now they'll never forget, (Won't forget.)
The first redneck on the internet
Now the moral of the story, as a matter of fact
In a couple of days I got my TV back
She said she'd like to come back, as well
I told her to go straight to AOL
Now, thank the Lord that the UPS
For droppin' that box at Cledus' address
If they ever wanna find him, it won't take long
To reach the first red neck on the internet
A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat
He went on line just one time
And now they'll never forget, (Won't forget.)
He was the first red neck on the internet
The first red neck on the internet
Hey Buck, p'preciate your help. You ARE the man
World Wide Web, population Four Zillion. Cy hoot
Credits
Cledus T. Judd

Cledus T. Judd

About “First Redneck on the Internet” by Cledus T. Judd

Read the complete lyrics to "First Redneck on the Internet" by Cledus T. Judd from the album "Did I Shave My Back For This?" in 1998. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"First Redneck on the Internet" is performed by Cledus T. Judd. from the album "Did I Shave My Back For This?" in 1998 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "First Redneck on the Internet", explore more songs by Cledus T. Judd using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"First Redneck on the Internet" is credited to Cledus T. Judd. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"First Redneck on the Internet" appears on "Did I Shave My Back For This?" in 1998.

Visit the Cledus T. Judd artist page at /artist/cledus-t-judd for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.