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How To Succeed In Mountport Lyrics by CollegeHumor

Welcome To Mountport (The Official Cast Recording)

2021

[ALEXA, spoken]
But listen, uh
If you have any advice about
How to succeed in Mountport
[PAPERBOY, spoken]
Oh sure I got a lot of advice on
How to succeed in Mountport
There's just a couple of things you gotta know
If you want to be a sort of a big deal around here
[ALEXA, spoken]
Sure
[PAPERBOY]
Step one:
Whenever you say “hi” to someone next door
Make sure you’ve never ever seen him before
Because we don't say “hi” to people that we know
To the people we've already mеt, we say “hi ho”
[ALEXA]
Oh, so “hi” to someone who’s brand nеw
“Hi ho” if I already know you
[PAPERBOY]
You've got it that's rule number one!
Rule number two:
The tuna fish here is beyond belief
We catch those tuna from the place right there
It's a little private little reef
They taste real good but don't eat too much
It'll make you throw right up
When it comes to tuna, a touch is enough
[ALEXA]
So “hi” if you are brand new
[ALEXA and PAPERBOY]
“Hi ho”
[ALEXA]
If I already know you
[PAPERBOY]
And when it comes to tuna
Just a touch is enough
Rule number three:
Don't climb up that big old tree
A woman lives in there and she is not okay
[ALEXA]
Oh, but that tree looks so inviting!
[PAPERBOY]
I know you're gonna wanna climb it
But don’t you do it
Don’t you try it
Again: the woman is not okay
[ALEXA, spoken]
Okay
[ALEXA]
“Hi” but then “hi ho”—
[PAPERBOY]
And not like “not okay”, like there's something wrong with her
She’s totally fine, she's just mean
[ALEXA, spoken]
Got it
[PAPERBOY]
Maybe evil
[ALEXA, spoken]
Maybe evil?
[PAPERBOY]
Don't talk to the woman
[ALEXA & PAPERBOY]
In the tree
[ALEXA, spoken]
Good advice for me!
Credits
CollegeHumor

CollegeHumor

About “How To Succeed In Mountport” by CollegeHumor

Read the complete lyrics to "How To Succeed In Mountport" by CollegeHumor from the album "Welcome To Mountport (The Official Cast Recording)" in 2021. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"How To Succeed In Mountport" is performed by CollegeHumor. from the album "Welcome To Mountport (The Official Cast Recording)" in 2021 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "How To Succeed In Mountport", explore more songs by CollegeHumor using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"How To Succeed In Mountport" is credited to CollegeHumor. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"How To Succeed In Mountport" appears on "Welcome To Mountport (The Official Cast Recording)" in 2021.

Visit the CollegeHumor artist page at /artist/collegehumor for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.