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I’m A Professional Lyrics by CollegeHumor

Welcome To Mountport (The Official Cast Recording)

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[TINA, spoken]
I'm going to tell you something
You know the baseball-playing, traveling, baseball-playing kid
Who can change the world?
[PINOCCHIO, spoken]
The one who is foretold to this town and change everything?
[TINA, spoken]
That's right
[PINOCCHIO, spoken]
And for you, your reign shall be toppled should they arrive?
[TINA, spoken]
That's right
[PINOCCHIO, spoken]
Yeah, I've heard of it
[TINA, spoken]
Well, I'm going to tell you more about it
[PINOCCHIO, spoken]
Okay
[TINA, sung]
A very, very long time ago
A legend was foretold
This is when I was younger
But now, now I'm old
[PINOCCHIO, spoken]
That's right
[TINA, sung]
And here's the thing, back in the day
The sky was blue, not green
[PINOCCHIO, spoken]
That's true
[TINA, sung]
And I said my destiny is to be
A woman who is mean
But there's one person who can foil it all
A baseball-playing girl
They, she will foil my plans
To take over the world
[PINOCCHIO]
I'll be writing this down
'Cause I'm a professional
I'll be writing this down, every evil plan you have said
Tell me about the evil plan that's in your head
[TINA]
The legend says that this girl
She will play ball
[PINOCCHIO, spoken]
That's true, yeah
[TINA]
But she needs to be on a field
That's green, not dusty at all
[PINOCCHIO, spoken]
Right, a baseball field traditionally
[TINA]
Right, but here's the thing
She must also play her game in light
[PINOCCHIO, spoken]
Right
[Tina]
So I'm building this tower as high as it goes
And it represents my might
[PINOCCHIO & TINA]
You're gonna tear her down
Tear her down!
'Cause you're a professional
I'm a professional
And tearing down a hero's what professional villains do!
That's right
You're gonna tear her down
Tear her down
'Cause you're a professional
I'm a professional
And Pinocchio will be right here, right next to you
While you
[BOTH]
Tear her down
Credits
CollegeHumor

CollegeHumor

About “I’m A Professional” by CollegeHumor

Read the complete lyrics to "I’m A Professional" by CollegeHumor from the album "Welcome To Mountport (The Official Cast Recording)". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"I’m A Professional" is performed by CollegeHumor. from the album "Welcome To Mountport (The Official Cast Recording)" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "I’m A Professional", explore more songs by CollegeHumor using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"I’m A Professional" is credited to CollegeHumor. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"I’m A Professional" appears on "Welcome To Mountport (The Official Cast Recording)".

Visit the CollegeHumor artist page at /artist/collegehumor for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.