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Red Mage Lyrics by CricketTheGuy

Self Sufficient

2024

[Verse 1]
I cast the spell of Fireball
And burnt my stupid eyebrows off
And left myself with only nine HP
And I tried to heal the damage done but got my wand stuck in the mud
My strength roll won't pass that massive DC
I’m an expert on so many little things
And I have got so many useless skill proficiencies
The fighter, and the wizard, and the cleric go make fun behind my back as charisma’s my highest stat
[Verse 2]
I’m a Red Mage in a way that’s fun
Amateur skill, master of none, a sight for those who don't know anything
And I lose my passion so quickly
In things that I thought interest me
It’s hard to еven put it in writing
[Chorus]
I’ll feed you poison, but not enough to kill you
And then I’ll hеal you, but not enough to save you
And then I’ll hurt you, but not enough to make you leave
Oh I can’t even fuck up explosively
[Verse 3]
I tried to fill the holes we got, be adaptive, fix our team comp
It turns out that there’s not a lot to fix
I think I’m finally realizing the world would still work without me
I’m just an overrated bag of tricks
So I’ll train the skills I think are neat
My nature, cooking, lock picking
A plus-one filling every single box
[Verse 4]
So I can’t banish a demon lord or facedown 15 thousand orcs
But I can open any standard lock
Now the dragon’s started crawling out its lair
And I’ve only got my pyromancy spells prepared
My sword play’s underleveled and I’ve fallen to my knees
I don’t have a skill but I still got the cheese
And I’ll save the world ‘cause its fate lies with me
Slaying monsters is my passion
So I’ll use my bonus action
Poison-coat my jagged knife
As I quickly extinguish your stupid life
[Chorus]
I’ll feed you poison, but not enough to kill you
(Slaying monsters is my passion)
And when I heal you, it’s not enough to save you
(So I’ll use my bonus action)
And if I hurt you it’s not enough to make you bleed
(Poison-coat my jagged knife)
Oh, I can’t even fuck up explosively
(As I quickly extinguish your stupid life)
I SAID I CAN'T EVEN FUCK UP EXPLOSIVELY!
Credits
CricketTheGuy

CricketTheGuy

About “Red Mage” by CricketTheGuy

Read the complete lyrics to "Red Mage" by CricketTheGuy from the album "Self Sufficient" in 2024. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under DIY Punk, Indie Folk, Rock.

"Red Mage" is performed by CricketTheGuy. from the album "Self Sufficient" in 2024 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Red Mage", explore more songs by CricketTheGuy using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Red Mage" is credited to CricketTheGuy. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Red Mage" appears on "Self Sufficient" in 2024.

Visit the CricketTheGuy artist page at /artist/crickettheguy for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.