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Calling Dr. Fong Lyrics by Dave Brockie Experience

Diarrhea of a Madman

2001

Calling, calling...
Calling Doctor Fong...
Calling, calling, calling...
Hmm...
There is an endless ocean. Beside it is a great castle. There, a family has lived for centuries. And the walls had grown with the generations
(Calling, calling, calling...)
And the sea remained. If the sea grew, no one could say. But most would say that the sea was the same. I...am Kamchok! I am a humble servant to the House of Fong. My master, Son of Fong, is a curious old man. He looks about 80, but is twice that. My master is a powerful sorcerer. I myself am 85
Calling Doctor Fong...
Calling Doctor Fong...
Calling Doctor Fong...
You've been gone so long...
You've been gone so long...
Many say my master is crazy, heheh. When he became king, the first thing he did was tell us, "Find me the biggest conch shell in the whole world!" Can you imagine that? He's crazy!
Calling, calling, calling...
Calling, calling, calling...
You've been gone so long...
You've been gone so long...
If I called you by your name, would your reply be the same?
I would call you by your name, but you never told me your name
It took years to find a shell big enough for Son of Fong. And when we did, it was guarded by a giant octopus! We killed it with a bong that Fong gave us. Then we had to hoist it all the way up to the highest tower. One time, it fell! It killed a lotta guys!
Fong, this is Son of Fong. Fong...
Turn your radio on
You've been gone so long, give me a clue
Father tell me what to do
Turn your radio on
Can't you hear me?
Calling, calling, calling
Calling, calling, calling
I'm getting old
I am feeling cold
I have fucked so much pussy
But yet I am impotent
You are my relative, my only relative
And you send me only whispers from the spirits of the dead
Poor Fong. He's dead. Fong was a powerful sorcerer. [Burp] My master was his only son. He dead now. That's how my master became king!
Calling, calling, calling
With my last breath I spit
Ageless to the heavens
I'm your only sinking shit
Have you sired many bastards?
Am I worthy of your time?
And if you have judged me
Then just tell me of my crime
My master, he never had a wife. My master, he...he has no son. Every day, my master, he walks...all the way...up to the highest tower. And he whispers into the shell. All day! He crazy!
(Calling...)
My body...is wracked with narcotics
And I know I'll never make the leap
Astral projection is beat
You knew the secret, you are alive
Father tell me, for soon I shall die
Hear me call to you, and hear me
Calling Doctor Fong
Calling Doctor Fong
Calling, calling, calling
You've been gone so long, yes
You've been gone so long, you hear
Calling, calling, calling
Calling, calling, calling
Calling, calling, calling
Calling Doctor Fong
I must sleep...
Poor, poor Fong. One day, a big ship came down from the sky. The people in 'em looked pretty funny. I ran. When I come back, ship gone. People gone. Conch gone! Gong gone! Ah! Oh! And Fong gone! (Calling, calling, calling...) Just like his dad. I am Kamchok! And now, I am king
[Ethereal voice:] Son...where are you?
[Kamchok:] Who you?!
[Ethereal voice:] I...am Fong...
[Kamchok:] You crazy! You go! This my house now! You blew chance! You no good! You not scary! You stupid! Get out! Get out, go! My men are coming, when they get here, you in big trouble! Know kung fu, now go! My gang, Flying Dragon, [gibberish]
Credits
Dave Brockie Experience

Dave Brockie Experience

About “Calling Dr. Fong” by Dave Brockie Experience

Read the complete lyrics to "Calling Dr. Fong" by Dave Brockie Experience from the album "Diarrhea of a Madman" in 2001. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Rock, Spoken Word.

"Calling Dr. Fong" is performed by Dave Brockie Experience. from the album "Diarrhea of a Madman" in 2001 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Calling Dr. Fong", explore more songs by Dave Brockie Experience using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Calling Dr. Fong" is credited to Dave Brockie Experience. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Calling Dr. Fong" appears on "Diarrhea of a Madman" in 2001.

Visit the Dave Brockie Experience artist page at /artist/dave-brockie-experience for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.