Lyrks
Lyrks
Lyrks
Cover Art

Hard for a ’Tard Lyrics by Dave Brockie Experience

Songs for the Wrong

2003

I believe in Bilbo Baggins!
[Verse 1]
Well I guess I probably fucked about a million girls
And if half of them were women, I'd shit a string of pearls
Still I guess that most of them were usually men
Society makes a man mouth-fuck his best friend
[Chorus]
Hard for a tard
I saw her in the yard
Walking after kitty, she stepped in a turd
Hard for a tard
Got her in my car
Slipped into her tard-hole, she didn't say a word
[Verse 2]
Fucking this retarded chick at the end of the block
She gets confused by the smell of air
But the sex is fantastic so I just don't care
Something about this retard gets me hard as a rock
She gets lost falling down the stairs
But she sure knows her way around my pubic hairs
[Chorus]
Hard for a tard
Her brain is deeply scarred
Throwing rocks at kitty, she's eating a turd
Hard for a tard
Get in the fucking car
Retarded chicks should be fucked and not heard
[Break]
Now her hot retard pussy always there for the taking
You know she won a Golden Globe, you know she could be faking
And still the quest for Oscar gold we are together making
As my lumpy penis-pie her vagi-stove was baking
Baking, baking, baking, baking
[Verse 3]
I'm in love with a girl that's fucking retarded
The only time she made a sound was when her pussy farted
But it gets better, I'm telling you how
I found her medicare checks and I'm cashing them now
[Chorus]
Hard for a tard
My perfect putt was parred
Kitty is becoming a turd
Hard for a tard
The turd is in a jar
Retards and old people need some cock too
Hard for a tard
Hard for a tard
Hard for a tard
Hard for a tard
Retarded chicks should be fucked and not heard
(Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?)
Credits
Dave Brockie Experience

Dave Brockie Experience

About “Hard for a ’Tard” by Dave Brockie Experience

Read the complete lyrics to "Hard for a ’Tard" by Dave Brockie Experience from the album "Songs for the Wrong" in 2003. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Punk Rock, Comedy, Rock.

"Hard for a ’Tard" is performed by Dave Brockie Experience. from the album "Songs for the Wrong" in 2003 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Hard for a ’Tard", explore more songs by Dave Brockie Experience using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Dave Brockie Experience · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Hard for a ’Tard" is credited to Dave Brockie Experience. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Hard for a ’Tard" appears on "Songs for the Wrong" in 2003.

Visit the Dave Brockie Experience artist page at /artist/dave-brockie-experience for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.