[Intro]
Shout out to Dan White Derulo
Daryl Daffen's jawline and hairline
Shout out to Edgar Davids, Eric Hitchmough and my main man Sweaty
[Verse]
Mate, I'm an awkward cunt
That's why I'm always drunk
You can catch me sipping on a Chât-du-Pape every day when the morning comes
Or some of that Morgan's Rum, whenever that boredom comes
I guess I'm borderline bored all the time, I should talk to someone
I've got no jawline blessed with a turkey neck
And I like a bit of posh, call me dirty Becks
Came back, new look with the quirky specks
If it's dirty sex, I last 30 secs
Return of the marky mark type of [?] bargy lairy bloke
Tryna make my mark imprint deep like a cast of my cock but it's hairy yo
Skin tone white as a dove or a t-shirt washed with the Ariel
I'm known to flip when I'm twisted, kickflip varial
That's for the skaters, I can never debate with haters, my patience is too thin
I think my chin ate my patience, might change my name to 2 Chinz
I used to cruise to my school in a 5-door hatchback
Never had a flat peak cap
But I listen to the Rat Pack
And I had a lunchbox with a packed lunch in my backpack
I got punched in the nose by the 5-0, man I couldn't breathe
I decided to sue the feds in every sense you see
Excuse me love, it's a double half lager for me
And that twat behind me is on half double whisky, we're complicated you see
I text birds but they never text back
(I don't think they've got any signal mate)
It could be that
'Cause it could never be the fact I'm an ugly twat
I've shagged every bird
I don't know what you heard
Every bird on Earth resents this tragic girth
But fuck bragging, I'm shagging too many birds to brag
And about a third were fat
And about to burst and that
It doesn't bother me honestly
I'm astonished 'cause tryna become a monarch in rap is harder than tonic and jack
(It doesn't mix)
I am the Keith Floyd of rap
And this breakdown's only in here so I could have a little slurp of the Pape
My dealer kept selling me empty bags
And I find that shit hard to swallow man
'Til it turns out they were just a hologram
I ain't spat on one of these for like two years
Now I'm yearning to come back burning
The punchbag's worn and I'm bored of these same old grime MC's and I'm constantly yawning
Rewind, back in 2011 I was sure that I'd blown up
Signed to a major, released a bullshit single, went to some parties and mingled and fucked up
Now I'm back and I'm better
The flow is impeccable
Jawline is sort of detectable
Never the less all the more with a beard that disguises my chin, I'm a General
Young, back and I look homeless, touché
You seen where my home is? Big place
It's a semi-detached, you assume 'cause I rap and enunciate
That I live in a big place
Got posh parents and cash is fat, that's a mistake
Back with a mixtape soon, with the bang I'm a bit late
Rapping but making it happen is where I progress, I'm a pisstake
If you didn't know me yet, you're a bit late
I've got the man-boob swagger of old men in Maga' that hang around BCM and get done for rape
Dear Sadiq I'm writing, and you seem quite chilled out mate and inviting
So could I have a pinch of you baccy? What do you mean no you fucking -
Chill out, that's racist
And I'll never be one of them on the basis
But if someone's a prick and they're doing my nut then it doesn't matter what colour their face is
Ginger beard but the same pot belly
Face so bait, you would swear I'm off the telly
Drank so damn much red wine in my spare time, now mate I've got addicted to Rennie
Middle-aged lesbos, that's not me
Driving a nice whip, that's not me
They say you look like the son of the guy from Family Guy, man yeah that's me
Hey girl, can I buy you a drink?
You look fit and you winked and my heart went boom and I wonder whether you're brown or pink
Inside your lips
I didn't mean to say that out loud, I guess I just slipped
But if you give me one more chance, then you could get this
[Outro]
Shout out Eric Hitchmough, all the Hitchmough lot
Shout out to anyone going through anxiety, you can fucking push through this, I'm a fucking rapper for fuck's sake, keep going
Safe
