[Intro]
(Epistra Beats)
EPIC RAP BATLES OF HISTORY!
TOSHINORI YAGI
VS
BEN SHAPIRO
BEGIN!
[Verse 1: Toshinori Yagi and Nezu]
I was scrolling through youtube to watch some vids, you see
Then out popped a thumbnail “MHA is too PC!”
“Oh the show went woke," heh, you know what I figured?
You call the people snowflakes yet it’s you that gets triggered
With your whining and crying and acting like a loon
I know many students with better manners than you
So swing, batter, batter, show you what a fatter rapper can do
Call these pecs woke, bitch I fucking dare you
[Verse 2: All-Might]
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Stand down, I’m another god you should be fearing
I’ll smash your goofy face in and get people cheering
You don’t stand for true justice, you’re a grifter, a bandit!
I don’t know what fucked you more, uh, Bill Nye or Lennon?
[Interlude: Ben Shapiro]
*Toshinori screaming*
Uhh, excuse me? Did you just order disses off my menu?
Well. News, Toshinori, facts don’t care about your feelings
[Verse 3: Ben Shapiro]
So the next subject of the debate is this little bitch
Who needs powers to be strong? Bro, do you even lift?
And what kind of name is All Might? You think you're some kinda God?
You’re from some dumb anime show, your whole shtick is a fraud
I show my daily wire to adults and teens around the world
While your rancid cosplayers just make me wanna hurl (Eww)
I’ll use my facts and logic to kick you in your fanny
I’d invite you to my talk show, but I don’t allow-
[Verse 4: Toshinori Yagi]
THAT'S ENOUGH!
I’ve heard enough bullshit out of your snakey little mouth
Time to show this myth bitch how we do it down south
[Verse 5: All-Might]
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
I save people, I’m a hero, who are you?
A politician born in Israel? Are you a jew? (Damn)
Check your initials, all your arguments are BS
My show is so awesome it ran for six whole seasons
Call me Twitter, no matter how hard you fight you’ll never beat me
And if you try you’ll get slayed on the TV
[Interlude: Nezu and Jordan Peterson]
Mmm, it appears you've been epicly burned, Mr. Shapiro. How do you like those apples?
Uhh, up yours woke All Might. We’ll see who cancels who
[Verse 6: Jordan Peterson]
I'm the professor of psychology, my knowledge is vast
Your anime powers won't hold up against my intellect so fast
You talk of heroism, but what of personal responsibility?
It's up to the individual to rise above their own fragility
You speak of love, but what of the dangers of hero worship?
To put one person on a pedestal, that's a dangerous trip
My teachings promote self-improvement, to better oneself
Your flashy powers won't compare to the power of the self
[Verse 7: Toshinori Yagi]
Oh you’ve gotta be joking! This battle’s not fair
You milk your fans for more dough than the milking porn you shared
Get some sleep ‘cause you clearly keep on losing brain cells
A fucking bullshit excuse for a man, are you an incel?
[Verse 8: All-Might]
A fake little smartass who can’t match my quirk power
When it comes to crazy spouters, I’d rather watch Crowder
You’re done, all that remains of this fake is that he’s
So hung up on his hate he couldn’t ever flip the Page
[Interlude: Nick Fuentes, All-Might, and Tucker Carlson]
The one thing that’s gotta go in this Christian society are these freaking battle raps!
They are a leech to our society and... huh?
DETROIT SMASH!
AAAHHHH!!!!
Ah yes. Murdering those who disagree. So much for the “tolerant left”
[Verse 9: Tucker Carlson]
Yeah you may have superpowers, but you don’t know my game
I’m the voice of FOX News with a conservative aim
I’ll stand strong and proud, bitch,and bitch you can’t cancel me
You fought a death battle and disappointedly failed miserably
You and your army of younglings should all run away
‘Cause I’ll put you on blast like when coca cola turned gay
I speak the truth to my viewers and that’s a fact
I think it’s time for you to see the world beyond your act
[Verse 10: Toshinori Yagi]
I may have flaws but I learn from my mistakes
You just keep spreading hate, with every breath that you take
You don’t care about people, what you teach is a crime
So down bad; telling candy to wear heels, out of line!
[Verse 11: All-Might]
A source of misinformation that zombified half a nation
You and the rest of your preachers are just some leeches for donations
I’ve won this, after giving you all a shot at the mic
Alt Right?
[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE (I guess?)
STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT RAP BATLE, WITH A T!
