[DANIEL] (spoken)
Guys, I need you to make me a woman.
[FRANK]
What?
[DANIEL]
Miranda is hiring a nanny. And I put myself up for the job as a woman, and I have an interview tomorrow.
[ANDRE]
What?
[DANIEL]
Guys, please, I'm begging you.
[DANIEL] (sung)
MAKE ME A WOMAN
GIVE IT A SHOT
COME ON AND GIVE ME THE BEST THAT YOU'VE GOT
I NEED HELP..
AND I'M COMING TO YA
HOPING YOU CAN WORK YOUR MAGIC ON ME
WITH IMAGINATION,
CALCULATION
YOU CAN TURN ME INTO YOUR GREATEST CREATION
I'M DESPERATE, I'M IN YOUR HANDS
SO TAKE THIS MAN
AND MAKE ME A WOMAN..
IF YOU CAN
[DANIEL] (spoken)
Unless of course, this is beyond your abilities.
[ANDRE]
Oh no, you didn't.
[FRANK]
Oh yes, he did!
[ANDRE] (sung)
I COULD DO YOUR FACE
WITH A MAYBELLINE BASE
ROSY CHEEKS AND RUBY LIPS
[FRANK]
I COULD DO A DO
THAT COULD DO GOOD ON YOU
AMBER STREAKS AND GOLDEN TIPS
[ANDRE]
LENGTHEN THE LASHES
[FRANK]
TIDY THE BROWS!
[ANDRE]
WAX THE MOUSTACHE
[FRANK]
DRESS IN A FABULOUS BLOUSE
[ANDRE]
THE CANVAS IS PLAIN
[FRANK]
BUT THE SURFACE IS ROUGH
[FRANK, & ANDRE]
WOOH!
THIS IS GONNA BE TOUGH!
[DANIEL]
MAKE ME A WOMAN
GIVE IT A SHOT!
[FRANK, & ANDRE]
WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU
THE BEST THAT WE'VE GOT
GIVE US A MOMENT
GIVE US SOME ROOM
LET US WORK OUR MAGIC ON YOU
WITH IMAGINATION,
CALIBRATION
WE CAN TURN YOU INTO OUR GREATEST CREATION!
[DANIEL, (FRANK, & ANDRE)]
I'M READY (OOH!)
I'M IN YOUR HANDS (ALRIGHT)
[DANIEL]
SO TAKE THIS MAN
AND MAKE ME A WOMAN
IF YOU CAN!
[ANDRE]
WHERE TO START,
IT'S HARD TO KNOW
[FRANK]
SO MANY WAYS
THAT WE COULD GO
[ANDRE]
A PILLBOX HAT!
[FRANK]
A PUSSY BOW!
[ENSEMBLE]
AND A TRAPEZE COAT
LIKE JACKIE-O!
[FRANK, & (ENSEMBLE)]
OR MAYBE TAKE THE ROYAL ROUTE
A SHOULDER GOWN OR A PALACE SUIT (A BOLERO JACKET!)?
[ANDRE, & (ENSEMBLE)]
TESTIFY!
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MY LADY DI (LADY DI)!
[ENSEMBLE]
TURN BACK TIME!
[ANDRE]
HOW ABOUT CHER!
[ENSEMBLE]
CHER!
[FRANK]
WITH ALL THAT HAIR?
[ENSEMBLE]
HAIR!
[ANDRE]
WHOA NELLY!
[FRANK, & NELLY]
MAYBE WE CAN GO
A LITTLE GRACE KELLY
[ANDRE]
HOLD THE PHONE!
GIVE ME A DRUM ROLL, DRUMMER!
WE COULD DO MADONNA
[FRANK]
MADONNA?
[ANDRE]
MADONNA SUMMER!
[Instrumental break]
[DANIEL] (spoken)
Wait, wait guys. I'm sorry stop. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Stop. STOP! I already did a phone interview.
[MRS. DOUBTFIRE]
She talks like this, dear. She's older, wiser. A bit more... "Substantial"!
[FRANK]
Why didn't you say so?
[FRANK] (sung)
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
[ANDRE]
A DASH OF JULIA CHILD!
[FRANK]
MARGARET THATCHER
[ANDRE]
JANET RENO
[FRANK, & ANDRE]
AND A LITTLE BIT OF OSCAR WILDE
[ENSEMBLE]
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
AND A DASH OF JULIA CHILD
MARGARET THATCHER, JANET RENO
AND A LITTLE BIT OF OSCAR WILDE
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
AND A DASH OF JULIA CHILD
MARGARET THATCHER, JANET RENO
AND A LITTLE BIT OF OSCAR WILDE
[FRANK] (spoken)
Ok, I think I'm getting it now!
[ANDRE]
Tell me!
[FRANK]
Remember that show we did with that girl?
[ANDRE]
What girl?
[FRANK]
Big pearl!
[ANDRE]
And that fancy place?
[FRANK]
With that wig!
[ANDRE]
Yes!
[FRANK]
From that night!
[ANDRE]
Uh huh! Third shelf on the right!
We're gonna need a skirt!
[FRANK]
Bright gold?
[ANDRE]
Too bold!
[FRANK]
Right.
[ANDRE]
What about plaid?
[FRANK]
Not bad.
[ANDRE]
With a blue sweater!
[ENSEMBLE] (sung)
MAKE HIM A WOMAN
[ANDRE] (spoken)
Give me those skin tone panty hose and those light brown leather shoes!
[ENSEMBLE] (sung)
MAKE HIM A WOMAN
[FRANK] (spoken)
Give him some antique earrings!
[ANDRE]
Hoop or button style!
[FRANK]
You choose!
[ENSEMBLE] (sung)
MAKE HIM A WOMAN
[ANDRE]
Give her a purse and glasses.
[FRANK]
Pink ones!
[ANDRE]
Let's not go berserk!
[ENSEMBLE] (sung)
MAKE HIM A WOMAN
[FRANK] (spoken)
We're gonna need a mask!
[ANDRE]
From a plaster-cast!
[FRANK, & ANDRE] (sung)
LET'S MAKE IT WORK!
[ENSEMBLE]
MAKE IT WORK!
MAKE IT WORK!
MAKE IT WORK! WORK! WORK!
MAKE IT WORK!
MAKE IT WORK!
MAKE IT WORK! WORK! WORK!
[ANDRE] (spoken)
I think it's working!
[Instrumental break]
[ENSEMBLE] (sung)
MAKE HIM A WOMAN
GIVE IT A SHOT
GO AND GIVE HIM THE BEST
THAT YOU'VE GOT!
THIS IS YOUR MOMENT!
NOW FOLLOW THROUGH!
YOU GOT TO DO THAT MAGIC YOU DO!
WITH IMAGINATION,
FABRICATION
HE'LL BE THE RESULT OF YOUR GREATEST CREATION
HE'S READY,
HE'S IN YOUR HANDS
TAKE THIS MAN AND MAKE HIM A WOMAN!
TAKE THIS MAN AND MAKE HIM A WOMAN!
TAKE THIS MAN AND MAKE HIM A WOMAN!
TAKE THIS MAN AND MAKE HIM A WOMAN...
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
AND A DASH OF JULIA CHILD
MARGARET THATCHER, JANET RENO
AND A LITTLE BIT OF...
[MRS. DOUBTFIRE] (spoken)
Euphegenia Doubtfire, dear....
