Laura: Hello and welcome to The Neurodivergent Teens Podcast.
(Music)
Hello everybody welcome back to our next episode of
The Neurodivergent Teens Podcast.
Today we're going to be talking about all the positives that we
associate with being neurodivergent.
So, Kirsty please tell us what you think some of
the positives are that you've experienced because you are neurodivergent.
Kirsty: I think it's the ability to hyper focus on something.
So when I'm working at uni or something, if I have something to do,
I can put myself in a zone and really concentrate on it for hours, and be so productive.
It's really helpful in so many situations to be able to just sit
down focus and get something done.
Laura: And I think that's one of the real myths about ADHD isn't it, like
attention deficit hyperactivity disorder… I don't
believe that we have a deficit of attention at all, like you say Kirsty
like when we're interested in something or we're good at something or there's
something that we kind of get fascinated by, we can spend hours on it
Lila, how about you? What do you think are
some of the positives that you associate with being neurodivergent?
Lila: Well this one's a double-edged sword for me, but
because of like my RSD, I'm very emotionally sensitive.
When I'm able to balance my emotions, it's actually kind
of helpful because it means I can see it in
others and change how I behave to make
sure that they feel more emotionally comfortable.
Obviously that can come with its own drawbacks, but I would say that
I'm very emotionally sensitive to other people's needs, and I would say that's a
big part of my ADHD.
Laura: I totally agree with that. Lila mentioned RSD there, which is
rejection sensitivity dysphoria, and that's something that we're going to
talk about in in another podcast episode.
Lila: Probably the next episode.
Laura: But Lila, do people comment on how kind you are and how caring you are?
Lila: They might do from time to time, I don't think it's like
particularly I'm more like kind or more like heartfelt than other people.
I’m able to do a lot more introspection on what other people are feeling when I'm
interacting with them, which is particularly helpful when I'm working
with children, because there is no demographic of people who wear their
emotions more openly, like on their sleeve. I'd say it's definitely helped me
there in terms of like adapting my behaviour to suit each person.
Laura: And also, I think what you've said there is so interesting and important
because I think one of the myths, one of the many myths
that exist about autistic people is that they lack empathy…
Lila: Yes! I mean we all know autistic people who are so sensitive
that if other people are upset they'll adopt those emotions for themselves.
Laura: Yeah, I really, really resonate with what you’ve just said Lila, because
like you, my job is working with young people, and I've always been very in tune
with other people. I'm incredibly sensitive to other people's emotions.
But the reason I asked if people had commented that you are kind and caring
is because I know that I'm a very kind person. I put other people's needs
probably before my own sometimes actually, because other people's comfort
is really really really important to me, and I think neurodivergent people can
be, often, so sensitive to other people and so kind and caring that
maybe sometimes we prioritise other people's needs, which isn't necessarily a
positive, but maybe something we can talk about in another episode.
But I mean, I think it is something that we are very good at, is
tuning into other people and thinking about how they feel.
Lila: Yeah, I mean what would you say the benefits in terms of
being neurodiverse in friendships and relationships?
Laura: Well, for me, I'm so loyal. I really care about my friends I’d do anything for them.
Kirsty: I think another strength is the problem solving. The
constant flow of thoughts, ideas, makes you better at problem solving, because
you can quickly sort of analyse what all the influences and factors and then
create a solution, and that could be applied to relationships and friendships
because you know you have an issue or something… No friendship is ever not
going to have an issue at some point within it, but being able to try and look
at both perspectives and create a solution means, well it’s probably more healthy.
Laura: Yeah. And are you both really good in a crisis?
Kirsty: So good.
Lila: I’m so bad.
Laura: Oh are you?
Lila: Well I guess it depends.
Kirsty: I can switch on like a survival mode… like instantly
and forget about everything else, just get to it.
Laura: I could have a meltdown over something that other people
would think is really trivial and minor.
But if I walk down the street and someone's
been hit by a car, I am the the best
person to have there. I'm like no don't
you sit there, I'll phone the ambulance
and I won't panic at all like I'm just in the zone…
Kirsty: Yeah, you put emotions aside…
I thought of another one: Because I'm so naturally, incredibly disorganised
which is quite entertaining to be honest, when I forget
things oh I was supposed to do that, oh I was supposed to do that, but because I am
I need to then be really organised. I have to have such a structure, everything
written down, everything whatever, but because I've had to do that it means I'm
10 times more organised than anyone else I know, which is a really good thing in a
way, because it it means I have everything on paper, but I only do it
because I have to be otherwise I'd forget everything.
Laura: I can't leave anything to the last minute so on that Kirsty,
I plan my outfits the night before, because if I waited till
the morning, I'd get such bad thought paralysis, what do I wear, what do I do, so
I get everything ready the night before, so yeah I think I'm really quite
organised at some things.
Kirsty: It does depend if I care enough to organise it. It does
help having almost being forced to be so
organised, but people are jealous of my organisation.
Lila: People wish they had my organisational skills, they wish they were me!
Kirsty: They wish!
(Music)
Laura: I want to go back to something else that you were saying Kirsty, as well
because you were talking about problem solving and being able to sort
of think differently in terms of like friendships, but actually neurodivergent
people are fantastic in terms of breakthroughs with
science, medicine, I.T., all of those things
you know if you look at the people that
are changing the world in terms of technology, medicine, all those things,
so many of them are neurodivergent, because of this ability to
think outside the box and to think differently.
Lila: A lot of us are overrepresented in the arts and STEM subjects.
Laura: So many entrepreneurs have ADHD, you know this ability to kind of like
think up new ideas for new businesses, but also have the energy and the drive...
Kirsty: Because of that focus, because of that
the ability to you have an interest in something you can just hyperfocus and
get it done well.
Laura: Lila, are there any other things that you think are
strengths that you have because of your neuodivergent brain?
Lila: I think I’m very honest and I think that's helpful.
I have two friends who are in a relationship and they're both neurodiverse
and the way that they deal with conflict when they have an issue in their
relationship is they just sit down and they tell each exactly what they're
feeling and why. And it's almost like a blueprint for other relationships, it's
so effective, and a big part of that is the ability to be honest, and I would
attribute at least part of that to their neurodiversity, like one of them just
does not do sarcasm at all, because the subtext is something they struggle with,
so they're just so honest, and in many situations it works wonders for them.
Laura: Yeah, so what you see is what you get?
Lila: Kind of, yeah.
Laura: And that’s much less confusing isn't it than being around
someone that's like not really quite being entirely honest and telling you
what they really feel.
Lila: Not necessarily they're not being honest but they're
just not communicating in the same way that neurodiverse [people would].
Kirsty: Yeah, they’re clear.
Laura: So, I think everybody who is neurodivergent is obviously an individual and
everybody's going to have their own real strengths depending on their own
unique personality, but I do think it's really important that we are really
positive about being neurodivergent, you know I've always said that if somebody
offered me a cure for my ADHD I would reject it, because although obviously
there's things that I struggle with because I've got ADHD, I don't think I
would be the person that I am today if I wasn't ADHD. I run two businesses like
Kirsty, you were saying, my ability to sort of work as hard as I do and focus so hard is
probably because of my ADHD, so I wouldn't want to change anything like that.
I just want to touch upon something else that I think for me has been so
positive since sort of going on my journey as a neurodivergent adult,
and that is that since I've had my diagnosis I understand myself so much
better, but what I've also noticed is that all the people that I enjoy
spending time with are neurodivergent. Like all my favourite people are neurodivergent
I just gravitate towards other neurodivergent people.
Kirsty: 100%.
Laura: It's not a conscious decision. I'm not like ‘no I don't want to be friends
with you because you're neurotypical’, I just feel so much more comfortable
around other neurodivergent people.
Kirsty: It’s like there’s this mutual understanding.
Laura: Yeah!
Hopefully if you're listening to this
you feel really positive about being neurodivergent, and you know it could
be that you have just found out that you're neurodivergent, it could be
that you're a little bit further along in your journey but you know hopefully
you feel positive about being neurodivergent, and also you can see the
positives about yourself. And you're in great company, because there's amazing
neurodivergent people out there, who are like, they are changing the world aren’t they?
(Music)
Laura: Lila, Kirsty, is there anything else you want to add?
Lila: One little parting thing I would say is that it can be quite nuanced
personally I feel like being neurodiverse is something that I’m
A: very proud of and embrace totally and
B: recognise as a disability, it's kind of both, it’s neither and…
It’s not like one or the other.
It's something that brings me a lot of joy and power and
also is something I have to deal with and learn how to adjust to, it's not like
the best thing ever I'm amazing or...
Kirsty: Sunshine and rainbows…
Lila: Yeah it’s, it's both.
Laura: No, and in our next episode we're going to talk
about the challenges that we've all had
to overcome because of our neurodivergent brains, and I think it
would be wrong of us to kind of sugarcoat it and say ‘oh you know it's
brilliant being neurodivergent and it means, you know you're never going to
have any problems of anything’, I mean
that's just not the case you know we
need to be really honest about the fact
that if you're neurodivergent, you are
going to find some things challenging
and a struggle so we're going to
we're going to look at those in our next episode.
Thank you very much for listening everybody,
and we will see you at our next episode!
(Music)
