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What’s the DM Gonna Do? Lyrics by Mary Crowell

I Have Missed You at My Table

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[Chorus]
What's the DM gonna do when half the players show?
"Sure I guess it's fine," they say
But if you really want to know
It's gonna need a rewrite or the players here will die
I stayed up all night to make this game right
And here's the thing: I'm gonna try (I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try)
I'm gonna try (I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try)
I'm gonna try (I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try)
[Verse 1]
I'll have some coffee—then I'll drink more of the same
The mighty bitey bean will save my game
It may be black or maybe with cream
I'll need to change the sorcerer's dream
The clеric has the flu today, the halfling's gone away
[Chorus]
What's thе DM gonna do when half the players show?
"Sure I guess it's fine," they say
But if you really want to know
It's gonna need a rewrite or the players here will die
I stayed up all night to make this game right
And here's the thing: I'm gonna try (I will try, I'm gonna try)
I'm gonna try (I will try, I'm gonna try)
I'm gonna try (I will try, I'm gonna try)
[Verse 2]
I'll have some coffee, then I'll know just what to do
The mighty bitey bean is adventure's bestest brew
I'd drink it cold though then it tastes vile
We replaced the druid and her strong crocodile
With this tame NPC that I just named Lyle
When did planning games become such a trial?
The no-show rogue has all their cash
My plot line's in the trash
[Chorus]
What's the DM gonna do when half the players show?
"Sure I guess it's fine," they say
But if you really want to know
It's gonna need a rewrite or the players here will die
I stayed up all night to make this game right
And here's the thing: I'm gonna try (I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try)
I'm gonna try (I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try)
I'm gonna try (I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try)
[Verse 3]
I'll have some coffee, then I'll drink and drink some more
The mighty bitey bean will remind me what the dice are for
The fighter will be fighting a duel
The bard can heal, so I will be cruel
The mage can Skype our session from school
She's my kid so that might make it cool
The ranger has a thing at eight, it's probably a date
[Outro]
What's the DM gonna do when half the players show?
"Sure I guess it's fine," they say
But if you really want to know
It's gonna need a rewrite (Tadadada, tadadada)
It's gonna need a rewrite (Tadadada, tadadada)
It's gonna need a rewrite or the players here will die
I stayed up all night to make this game right
And here's the thing: They're gonna die!
Credits
Mary Crowell

Mary Crowell

About “What’s the DM Gonna Do?” by Mary Crowell

Read the complete lyrics to "What’s the DM Gonna Do?" by Mary Crowell from the album "I Have Missed You at My Table". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"What’s the DM Gonna Do?" is performed by Mary Crowell. from the album "I Have Missed You at My Table" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "What’s the DM Gonna Do?", explore more songs by Mary Crowell using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"What’s the DM Gonna Do?" is credited to Mary Crowell. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"What’s the DM Gonna Do?" appears on "I Have Missed You at My Table".

Visit the Mary Crowell artist page at /artist/mary-crowell for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.