Matt Foster:
So tell me again Michael, why did you try to kill yourself?
Michael:
Stress. Depression. Loneliness. Take your pick
Matt Foster:
I understand that, but I am going to need for you to be a little bit more specific, so that we can find a way to fix the problem quickly
Michael:
You can’t fix it
Matt Foster:
I wouldn’t be too sure about that. I’ve found through working here that just about everything can, in one way or another, be fixed. Especially people
Michael:
I don’t even want to be here
Matt Foster:
Well, you are going to be here for at least another 72 hours, maybe more if we decide that you aren’t stable enough to leave our care. Now, why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself, instead of just diving right into the suicide question
Michael:
I guess I can do that
[Verse One: MikelWJ]
I grew up in a “small town” with a brother and mom
And a father who had moved away when I was still young
So I never got attached or learned to be like a man
So I guess this deviation wasn’t part of my plan
Our street was quiet and safe, I saw the rules I could break
Then I flipped them all around and took the things I could take
My neighbors said I was kind, I guess it stuck in my mind
Since I just wanted to help, but it just put me behind
Then in the hospital bed, I learned my life was a lie
Since a lot of my friends are the reason I want to die
I don’t take meds anymore, I bashed my head in the door
Since the writers block was killer, making music a chore
I thought I had a fucking gift, but I just got it taken
And I didn’t know a way that I could lower frustration
I stayed up almost all night, the night I didn’t feel right
And that leads us to the reason that I stand in your sight
Matt Foster:
I see, I see. It’s good to hear you have a hobby that makes you happy, but you are still being vague. Do you think you can tell me some more? I’m trying to get a full picture of everything that has happened. So please, continue
Michael:
Alright
[Verse Two: MikelWJ]
My brother used to be different, was either violent or missing
He closed his bedroom door whenever he was feeling dismissive
Slept with a knife by my bed, I had it stuck in my head
That if he ends up getting angry, I’d be injured or dead
I never wanted to be him, and so I bottled my anger
I didn’t yell at other people, so I made that my anchor
I may have made a mistake, my anger just got replaced
With the doubt and depression that left me feeling displaced
I haven’t been diagnosed, I think bipolar comes close
But you’re the one with the degree, so I’ll let you let me know
I’ve seen a counselor or two, none of them knew what to do
So if you have a new suggestion, trust I’ll follow it through
I haven’t done well in class, I’m worried I’ll never pass
My best friends a freaking genius while I’m running in last
I think my teachers gave up, since all my efforts would suck
And they stopped their disappointment, like they don’t give a fuck
Matt Foster:
Things are starting to make a little bit more sense now. A troubled early life, as well as an inability to perform adequately in school. It makes sense that you would be under a lot of stress. Is there anything else you can tell me?
Michael:
There’s always more that I can tell people
Matt Foster:
Alright, well, you can start whenever you’re ready
[Verse Three: MikelWJ]
Every day after school, I’d rush home to my room
I have no one to hang out with, thats just what I assume
I seem to only disappoint at every point in my life
Both my family and friends will never tell me I’m right
They only mention the failure, which isn’t isn’t helpful to me
Since the thing they should be looking at is my self esteem
I constructed my world, perfection down to a curl
Since I thought that she was everything I want in a girl
I spent a couple hundred dollars in a couple of days
Wishing we were still a couple in a couple of ways
I guess I made a mistake, since now she thinks I’m a fake
And if you ask me, that’s the single worst mistake I could make
I felt a little confused, forgot the things that I’d lose
And I hastily abandoned something I could have used
It’s a shitty excuse, but still the best I can do
Every single word is true, but my perspective is skewed
Matt Foster:
Well, that is all very interesting. Thank you for sharing with me. I think we can end this meeting here, I believe it’s almost lunch time, so you may want to get to the lunch room before everyone else gets their food. We will talk again tomorrow
Michael:
Okay, that works. See you later then, I guess
Matt Foster:
Have a good rest of your day, Michael
Michael:
I will definately try
