Dear Rudiff
I’m writing ‘cause I think I got a whole lot of nothing in my mind
And it’s starting to consume me
The blank page taking over the sketch
I regret to inform you that there ain’t much left of me
But still, I hope that you can vouch for me
When I’m gone, I wanna’ be remembered for all that I am
Not the good, not the bad—just the middle
-In between the fence of right and wrong
A fine rope strapped to one edge of the cliff
And the other is a riddle taking form of a noose around my broke neck
A sick head kicked bad from the mirror man
Still hanging in my office where you left it—never clearer, man
But that person staring back is rude
-Telling me lies all the time, and I’m closer to believing him
So I hope you’re closer to retrieving him
See, I was under the impression you was’ just taking a break
Made mistakes that you wanted to repent for
And I was all for that repentance
But now it’s been so long that I think you might be running towards an exit
And if that’s true, it’s not on accident...
It’s been a while, you’ve been giving me the shoulder
I’m waiting for this whole dang thing to blow over
I wrote you three or four times
And I checked, but you never hit me back
-Just assumed you too had been consumed by the pollen of the bloom
But I know you better than that
I check twice a day, ‘cause I know you better than that
Don’t mean to scuff up your shoes or scratch upon your new ride
Where black and white once were just gray lines
Is now a mess of paint and strange ink blots
Shaped like plastic soldiers
And we’re older, so the whole world’s looking mighty colder
-A bold move
Yes sir, I remember the old rule
“Never meddle with affairs outside your own room”
But I just can’t help myself, man
It’s not Tru!
All the stuff that they been saying about you
It’s got me seeing red, I’m the bull—I’m the monsoon
I want you to understand that I never once thought a single word had any merit
I kept myself perched up high—deaf parrot
Staring at that billygoat reflection
The mirror that you gave me’s like a spreading infection
Refracting what I want to see, but that ain’t me
What’s the guarantee if I return it to you that I will be free of this curse?
Getting harder not to hurt myself with each and every verse
-No virtue
Don’t mean to alert you
But if I’ve gotta’ keep on looking, might desert you
I’m like a cartoon living in the same reruns that been showing for the last ten years
Where you at?
Could you take a fucking second just to hit me back?
Dear Rudiff
You know I get covert sometimes
And that’s work tryna’ flirt with the murk of life
But we was equals… I never meant to diss you
I never meant to turn it all around—that’s not the issue
I miss you
You left this thing with me because you thought that I could handle it
I guess you thought wrong
I’m a walking bomb, ticking wicked clicks
Just a thought and it’s all gone
Quick tip: never put your faith in my agenda
We both know that I do not care where I could end up
I don’t know when this negative flow started
Pent up aggression leaking from my naked fists
I am the center, I’m the beast
The puzzle piece missing
-Lodged under the cushion of the couch
Sucked up by the vacuum cleaner hose and thrown out three towns away
So there’s a hole now
How you hang that up to show and still be proud about it?
I’m writing ‘cause I think a whole lot of nothing
And my blood’s running black
There ain’t no coming back
It’d be nice to hear your voice once more before it’s over
But I’ma do what I’ma do, I’m sure you know that
I guess I just want your approval
-Tru
